Not Forgiven but Forgotten

If Only...

I wish with all my heart that I could tell my friends what's happening without putting them in danger.

I wish I could get my friends powers so that they can fight Alva without getting hurt.

I wish I could go back to being a normal kid who could act her age, not having the weight of worlds on her shoulders.

I wish I could leave this all behind and go into a dimension where people actually care.

I wish that I knew someone who could grant all of these wishes, but unfortunately, I don't.

"Gilly, it's time for dinner. Are you going to go to the cafeteria?" Miri asks, coming into my mirror.

"No. I ate earlier." I say. It's true, I ate with me from dimension 28ABG after we finished fighting an army.

I also don't want to have to see my friends again. I don't want to have to talk to them. I can't.

"Are you sure miss Gillian? You haven't come out of your dorm for days, other than to attend classes." Miri tells me.

I shake my head and look away from my mirror.

"I'm fine Miri. I'll come out of my room later. If I feel like it, I'll go pegasus riding." I assure Miri.

"If you say so." Miri says, leaving the mirror.

I collapse on my bed and take a deep breath.

"Just breath Gilly. It will all be okay. Soon you and the others will defeat the evil army and you'll be with your friends again." I say to myself.

If only I could tell them now.

If only I could apologize to them.

If only I could look at them without feeling overpowering guilt and sadness.

If only I could save this world without hurting people.

If only I could run back to my friends and be welcomed back with open arms.

If only.