My Crown: Reimagined [IDOLiSH7 Fanfiction]

05: My Words

A souvenir. Riku had never got something like that before. Sure, he had received numerous gifts and cards from his fans since he became an idol, as well as from his father ever since he was a young child. Not once had he gotten anything from someone close, like a friend. Perhaps he did get some gifts for his birthday when he was still with his twin brother. Riku only vaguely remembered. He recalled blowing out candles together with Tenn. The smell of the candle combined with the strawberry icing drew them in. Riku remembered laughing and smiling a lot that day. He was probably happy back then.

Iori: Aren't you curious what it is? Or grateful that you got a gift from someone? Or happy that someone cares about you?

Riku stared at Iori's message. It had never crossed his mind that he should ask what his new friend got for him. His first instinct told him to say thank you. Seeing a message like this made him think a little more. That birthday he spent with his twin brother, he remembered that everything around him looked so bright, so full of colours. Just now, when Iori said he got Riku something, his heart felt a tiny bit lighter. He swore the streetlights shone more vividly than usual. Perhaps it was like that moment? "Was that what it means to be happy?" Riku muttered.

Riku couldn't be too sure, not when he had forgotten what happiness felt like. He could just text back and say he was happy, but he would hate to lie. He should be honest with his friend. The solo idol spent several minutes thinking of how to explain what he had experienced. Unfortunately, he didn't know how he could put that sensation into words. It happened so suddenly and disappeared so quickly. It felt like a blurred image to Riku. Not knowing what to do, the solo idol decided to give Iori a call. He waited for a short moment before he heard that familiar voice. "Hello, Kujou-san?"

Ah, whatever should he say? Riku pondered. Thinking harder would not solve anything, so Riku used a direct approach. "Umm...I think I am happy." He stuttered.

"What?" Iori was ready for anything but that. In fact, Riku always seemed to catch him off-guard.

"I said I think I am happy...t-that you bought me a souvenir."

Frustration, anger, whatever negative emotions Iori had in his mind just a moment ago were wiped clean. In his imaginative head, emotionless Riku attempting to express himself was cute beyond words. The icy prince couldn't process it. That was too much for him to take. "K-Kujou-san, I-I get it now." If Riku were to say another word, Iori was sure he would drop dead from a heart attack.

"I don't know what to do, Iori." Riku's unusually serious tone brought Iori back. "I feel like something is missing."

"What do you mean?"

"Like-" Riku took a deep breath in. "I don't know if what I felt was happiness, but I did feel something, and it disappeared so quickly. Like I never felt it."

Well, that confirmed the theory Iori had in his mind when he first spent time with Riku at a cafe. Riku had feelings, his mind just seemed to shut them down whenever they tried to surface, almost like a defence mechanism of some sort.

Confused, Riku felt the urge to cry. Why and how did he become this way? What was he going through? Was any of that considered normal? Why couldn't he feel that again? What was this empty sensation he was having?

"Iori, am I a cold person?"

"You might seem like one..." Iori could hear how shaken Riku's voice was. The guy was no doubt crying. Iori couldn't possibly know what Riku was going through, but he could tell that Riku was suffering. The high school boy wished he was there with him. Damn. How could someone do this to a person? "...but you aren't. You are just made into one."