My Crown: Reimagined [IDOLiSH7 Fanfiction]

08: My Pain

"My, my. Someone's been very naughty."

"Manager." Kujou Riku was faced with his manager, who waited eagerly right in front of his apartment door.

"Relaaaax, Riku." Ryo's tone was derisive as ever. "As long as you continue to bring Tsukumo fame and money, I don't have a problem with you taking odd jobs." He showed Riku a piece of important-looking paper. Ah, Tsukumo had already talked business with Takanashi Productions. "But it's not me you're concerned about, is it?" Tsukumo took Riku's silence as his cue to continue. He whispered in Riku's ear, "I'm gracious and open-minded, unlike someone's daddy."

Cruel. Did his manager come here only to mock him now that he knew Riku would be most vulnerable? As a manager, he obviously knew how Riku was raised as an untouchable figurine, only to be admired. After Riku had his heart exposed to the world, the thought of locking it back up must be at least a bit painful. Yet Tsukumo found his idol's pain entertaining?

The boy entered his apartment and shut the door in Tsukumo's face. Enough. He didn't want to hear any more of that mockery. His true nightmare began when his phone went off seconds later. Exhausted, Riku picked it up and sat down right then and there, leaning his back against the door.

"Hello, father."

"Son." Kujou Takamasa spoke in his neutral tone. Was he not mad? "I was only trying to protect you, yet you defied me so."

"Protect me?," asked Riku in his monotone voice.

"Correct." answered Takamasa. "Tell me how you feel right now, Riku."

Pain. Heartache. Guilt. If only Riku could name them all. He was feeling them because he felt he was not allowed to have feelings. How confusing. "I'm hurting, father." A naive little boy couldn't possibly win against a cunning man.

"See? If you had not allowed yourself to be clouded by weak illusions such as emotions, you wouldn't have to suffer like this."

No, this whole thing is wrong. Riku wanted to object, but he couldn't possibly say so. He remembered how nice it felt to allow himself to enjoy something. If having feelings meant he had to experience sadness as well as happiness, he would choose to have them. The boy wept. He needed more time to stop those tears.

"Rest well, my son." Takamasa grinned, knowing he had won.

And so the boy soon slept, not knowing that the next morning he would forget how he felt that night. He would remember having the best time of his life, but he would not be able to live it again. After all, for years and years, he was trained to dismiss his emotions. The habit could not be broken so easily.

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Going back to the night IDOLiSH6 were to hold their very first 'Kimi to IDOLiSH6 Night' TV show, TRIGGER feared the worst. Their injuries weren't serious, but the doctor insisted that they stay at the hospital tonight.

When Tenn was being dragged out of the crashed car, he kept shouting for someone to contact Takanashi Productions. He worried more about the trouble he would cause the I6 boys than about his own life. That was the kind of person he was: a professional angel who lived for the smiles of his fans.

The three boys had their eyes glued to the TV screen on the wall in their private hospital room. The show was about to start. Frustrated, Gaku could hardly sit still. He and Ryuu were just as worried about the I6 boys.

"Damn it! Why are we stuck here?! We should've been there with them!" The leader vented.

"Shhh! Quiet, Gaku. It's starting!" Tenn hissed.