𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥

monster?

HIII GUYS!!! IM BACK, THANK YOU FOR 80K ON MY BOOK!!!

I LOVE U GUYS SO MUCH, THANK YOU FOR CHECKING ON ME, ILY GUYS.

now, onwards!

YES i'm writing it in lowercase, ik ik scream at me later.

for what i call a dream..

my dream.

our dream.

our future..

nothing would ever compare to this..
________________________________
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i mean, i wasn't always who i am.

the robber, stealer, drug dealer, the killer..

whatever you could think of, that's me.

i sat back in the hospital bed, trembling. what the fuck did he mean by that shit, your girlfriend? my girlfriend, what the fuck?"

it made me uneasy, nauseous almost. hell it irked me on another level so much to the fact she won't pick up her damn phone.

i started picking at my skin, wincing at every slight tear or pull that became inflicted on myself.

feeling the pain that i could control, punishing myself, for being so damn stupid.

the red seeped out from the now opened wound that began to drip down my hand. wiping it with the cloth of my bed, i began to become angry.

clenching my fists tightly, as my frustration grew. the air around me was not only hot, but a heavy tension surrounded me.

i'm not alone.

.
.

"i mean you're fucking crazy." i said, pushing jadian into the lockers.

"hell nah, you're the idiot here, im just being honest." he said," besides, you're the one who can't make up his mind, money is money."

i pushed him again and watched him get frustrated, i laughed as i saw my best friend rub his arm, as it hurt when i pushed him.

"it's not that easy, people could get hurt." i said," and besides, i don't wanna be a killer, i don't wanna be that person, ever."

"no one said you had to kill anyone you just do the stuff and leave it to everyone else."

i looked down at my hands, as my 7th grade self saw how small they were.

i wish i realized how much damage they were gonna do, i wish i realized how much pain i'd be in.

i wish i said no.