Catharsis - Luvlie

- 14 -

I'm getting death threats so welcome to my form of escapism: angst.

6 months later.

Of course, life was never perfect, but that was the beauty of it all.

Vee was okay. Vee was truly going to be okay, and for the first time in a while she saw that.

Life would always have ups and downs, but she had Ranboo by her side to help her overcome it.

It honestly hurt at first how supportive he was, but life now felt like a two-player game, like no matter what happened, Vee knew she had a partner in life by her side.

No more secrets. Luvena vowed to forever hate secrets.

She eventually told Ranboo everything. Every night with Ollie. Every little thing from stolen glances to Ollie's confession.

He didn't necessarily take it perfectly, but she never expected him to.

The two found perfection in the jagged edges of life, they found peace in their situation, just as they always had.

Vee had never been quite sure of herself, especially regarding her feelings towards Ollie.

And as much as she missed the brunette, Vee was somewhat appreciative of the distance. It gave her time to heal and find herself.

For the first time in a year, Luvena Scott could officially say she was over Ollie.

The memories they spent together would forever be wrapped away, a delicate present Vee promised herself to unwrap and look back upon years from now. A vivid dream, forever promised never to be relived.

Vee wasn't sure whether it was some form of escapism or a pure dumb teenage fling, but she found peace being able to acknowledge it happened, acknowledge she didn't regret it, and move on.

Life always moved on, and Luvena allowed herself to flow with it.

Luvena was happy, for once in her life she didn't need Ollie to be happy.

–

Ollie's entire foundation seemed to crumble before her eyes, but she allowed it. She had enabled it and couldn't seem to stop.

Her consciousness was a distant viewer, silently observing as her corporeal form seemed to spiral out of control.

Vee had been her foundation, a forever stable form of reassurance.

And instead of peace, the distance brought longing and desperation and desiderium. Desire. (This is a call back to their little word dictionary moment. I love callbacks you're going to see a lot of these as this book comes to a close)

Ollie felt as if a fundamental piece of herself had been ripped from her chest, except she was the one who moved. She was the one who left. She had no one to blame but herself.

Or she could blame Vee. Find resentment simply for the fact that she was so fond of the blonde.

It was easier than blaming herself, blaming Tommy, blaming distance, an irreversible factor.

So she learned to hate Vee, at least that's what she told herself.

She told herself the burning feeling that ignited in her chest whenever Vee's name was nothing more than resentment.

The more she lied to herself, the easier she found it to lie to other people.

Ollie tried her hardest to be a good person, she never wanted to lie.

She never could lie to Tommy, something about his soft and understanding gaze broke any mirage she may have been able to cloak over her life.

She hated how he could break her with just a glance.

And it led to too many nights, the Brighton walls barely muffling the shouting which only truly came from fear.

Ollie hated being scared.

She hated having to rely on people. Vee had broken her stability, her foundation.

And now every time she looked at Tommy, all she could see was him leaving her life.

Just as Vee had.

Just as her parents had.

Just as Olive had.

A part of Ollie knew she probably didn't deserve Tommy.

She didn't deserve the way he'd hold her in response to every outburst from the brunette, he took every fit of yells with a gentle kiss to her forehead.

He didn't tune out her yelling, he listened, and genuinely did the best he could to help.

A part of Ollie was willing him to leave.

If she had some responsibility for him leaving, if she was the cause, maybe it would give her some control over her life.

But he refused to leave her side, and eventually she got help.

He convinced her to go to therapy, and despite the ups and downs and the screaming matches which caused Ollie to break down in apologies only hours later.

Ollie was okay.

Or maybe it was bottled up.

She accepted it was never Vee's fault, though the resentment for the girl she'd never see again was an outlet she accepted gratefully.

The lines between lies and truth seemed to blur, at least when it came to what Ollie was telling herself.

Which is why Ollie chose to feel absolutely nothing as Tommy came to her ecstatic, in hand, two plane tickets to America.

Two plane tickets to Vee.

Word Count- 808 Words

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