StAlKeRs

Fifteen

I pulled back from Stu, pulling out of his embrace and stepping back to put some distance between us. "How about a couple beers in the hot tub?" I said smiling. He nodded and we walked downstairs. While I walked out and got in the hot tub Stu grabbed the beer. I sank down into the hot bubbling water, feeling my muscles relax. It was pitch blackness that surrounded us, the only light being what was coming from inside. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth and sounds of nature. An owl was hooting from somewhere in the woods, crickets playing their music. I hadn't been this relaxed in a while. "Stop staring at me," I said, not opening my eyes. "Can't help it," Stu said. He had gotten in and sat down on the other side of the hot tub, diagonal from me. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, but it was much closer. 

I opened my eyes slowly and was met with those breathtaking blue eyes. He was much closer to me, so close in fact I could feel his breath fan over my face. "Personal space. Ever heard of it?" I whispered. "Hmmm," he hummed, his lips tugging into a small smile. "I've been away from you too long--" his words faded as he looked at me for a few more seconds before he went back to his spot. I felt a little pang of hurt when he moved away but I knew he was trying to prove himself to me. He was trying to prove that his intentions weren't to hurt me. I already knew that everything he had said about regretting hurting me the way he did not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too. I knew he wasn't lying when he said he wasn't sorry for liking the feeling of adrenaline when he killed someone. 

Just the regret in his voice and in his eyes when he apologized and talked about hating what he had done to me but then turned into that dark, excited look he had the night of the party when talking about killing someone said it all. I knew I would probably never fully forgive him for it all but I couldn't help the way my stomach erupted into butterflies or the way my heart skipped a beat when he looked, touched, or was just near me. But I needed to be careful and cautious just in case something snapped. 

Silence fell over us for a while, slightly awkward. I decided to move to the other side and lean up over to the banister of the deck. I looked out into the darkness of the forest that surrounded us. "So, do you think that escaped, criminally insane nutcase is out there watching us right now?"  I asked, still looking out at the forest. He moved to lean on the banister beside me, resting his chin on his folded arms. "Probably getting himself off at the sight of you in that bikini," he smirked. "Speaking of-- out of all the swimsuits I have did you have to grab this one?" 

He looked at me, a smile spread across his face, mischief sparkling in his eyes. "It's one I haven't seen you in. When did you get it?" He asked. I cleared my throat and looked away from him, "Tatum got it for me after we got together. She got a bunch of stuff for me saying I needed sexy clothes or some shit," I laughed. "Like the lace panties?" He asked. My head snapped over to him. Tatum had bought me a few bra and panties sets for my birthday after Stu and I started dating, that had included lace panties. I never wore them, I was too shy to. 

"Maybe. Did you pack them? Oh, my god, Stu!" I said. He laughed and shrugged, "Hey you were on the phone with Sid. I just wanted to help make things go faster. Not like I've never been through your--'' he cut himself off. "Excuse me?" I said in shock. "Okay, look-- you're going to find this funny-- I might have gone through your pantie drawer one time when I was over out of curiosity. It was shortly after we dated and I wanted to see if you hid anything in there," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. "You're such a perv!" I laughed. He leaned closer to me, his lips barely brushing against mine. "I'm tired and it's late. We should probably go to bed," I whispered. 

"Yeah. Okay." Disappointment laced his words, his smile dropped. Stu got out of the hot tub and grabbed a couple towels. I sat on the edge, my legs dangling over the side waiting for him to come back out. When he did he handed me a towel having already dried off. I wrapped the towel around me, walking past him into the house. Stu made sure to lock the door and then we headed back up to the main floor. "I'm going to make sure everything is locked up, I don't want you worrying someone is going to come in," he said softly. I headed for the stairs, halfway up I stopped, "I wouldn't. Worry I mean. I know I shouldn't but I feel completely safe with you." 

Up in my room I decided to get a quick shower before going to bed. Now I lay on the bed in an oversized tee-shirt not being able to sleep. It was three in the morning and I felt wide awake. I couldn't quiet my mind. I was in the middle of the woods, with no one around for miles, with my ex-boy-- was he really my ex-boyfriend? I mean we never officially broke up... 

**OF COURSE HE IS! HE TRIED TO KILL YOU!** 

But he was fueled by his psychotic best friend with mommy issues. Would he have given into the urge to feel what it would be like to kill someone together wise? Probably not. Stu was crazy at times and his attic certainly cries out that he isn't right in the head. Did you see all those creepy dolls? But he was easy to manipulate. Billy knew that, he knew he didn't need to push too hard to get Stu to follow after him. But Stu is a lot more sensitive than Billy, he's a big softy and would do anything for anyone he cared about. He was trying so hard to get me to give him just a sliver of trust so he could prove himself. 

**He's only just across the hall. You could get up and walk in, lay down, and curl up into him. He wouldn't push you away. He'd hold you like you've been wanting for so long.** 

Okay so I convinced myself to get up and walk across the hall to his room. Bad decisions are part of your teenage years. How else are you supposed to learn? I slowly and quietly opened the door. Stu was laying on his stomach in the middle of the bed, arms and legs spread out in a starfish position, the blankets only half covering him. He was only wearing boxers which was what he normally wore to bed. The moon was shining through the open window casting a silver light around the room. I quietly shut the door and tip-toed over to the bed. His body was slightly angled so there was just enough room for me to crawl in beside him. 

I slowly crawled onto the bed lifting his long arm and laying down, placing his arm so it lay across my stomach. Stu was normally a heavy sleeper but tonight he must have been having some trouble sleeping because as soon as I let go of his arm, his head turned towards me. His blue eyes were heavy with sleep. A smile slowly made its way onto his face and he repositioned himself, pulling me closer to him. He laid his head on my chest, tightening his arm around my waist and pulling me more under him. He let out a satisfied hum, his muscles relaxing, his leg pushing to rest between my legs. I carded my fingers through his hair and kissed the top of his head. 

I knew it was wrong and I shouldn't be here at all. I shouldn't have lied to my dad, to Sidney, but this felt right. This felt like this is where I was supposed to be. I never felt safer than when I was with Stu. It wasn't so hard for me to fall asleep shortly after that. All the thoughts buzzing in my mind came to a sudden hult and I fell asleep.