A Wish (An Attack On Titan Fanfiction)

Chapter 25

{A/N} - This chapter is sort of depressing.

I didn't know what to write then I thought of this, so... Enjoy!!

~Zoey's P.O.V~

~1 Week Later~

This week was really stressful. I had to talk to Erwin about my "power". Well, that was fun, and by fun I mean extremely boring. I had to sit through an hour long meeting. Ugh!

Also, I was judged by a lot of people. I feel like they all either loved me, or hated me, which is wonderful. I can hear them whisper about me, calling me freak, weirdo, monster, etc.

Anyways, I have gotten really close to some of the recruits, most of them being main characters. Surprisingly, I have gotten close to Erwin and Levi as well. I was not expecting to achieve that..

I wished a lot of things lately, and it kind of made me tired, like when I wished for something, I lost a portion of energy. The bigger the wished item was, the more energy was depleted.

I usually wished for food, or money. Cause the food here is absolute shit and I came here without any money. I know, I could have just wished for all the stuff instead of wishing for money and going out to get what I wanted. I wanted to get outside and explore places where the anime/manga didn't show.

I haven't told Erwin or anyone about the 57th Expedition, which is happening in just under 2 weeks. Ugh, I don't know how to phrase it.'Levi's whole squad apart from him will be dead in less then two weeks' sounded too blunt. Man this is tough..

I sighed in frustration, I'm very grateful to be here, I just don't know if I'm puling my weight around here. When I'm asked to clean, I wish for it to be clean, when I'm told to cook, I wish in good food. I feel like everyone only likes me and keeps me here cause of my powers, not cause they like me!

The texts I got keep coming, more venom and threats come my way and I can't help but read them.. again, and again. The words sinking into my head, getting to me. They would say words like "slut, fat, whore, cunt, ugly, retard, dumbass, bitch, asshole, skank, shit, etc." I can't help but believe those words.

I look at myself in the mirror a lot now, wondering why I'm here, wondering why I decide to continue living on this planet. I pinch the skin at my hip and grimace. They're right, I am fat. I look at my face. I am ugly, way worse then most girls here. I'm too pale, to fat, to ugly, who would want me here?

I just want to die anymore. I still smile, but they're not real smiles, but they don't care. It's not like they care about my feelings. I try to push down the suicidal thoughts, but when I hear those whispers, those hate filled whispers, those thoughts surface.

I looked towards the small knife in my hand, and sigh. I sit down on the ground and hold the knife to my left wrist. I slid the knife across my skin with ease, the stinging pain only last seconds, then I feel nothing.

Again, ad again, and again. I can't feel my body anymore, there is no pain, no emotion, just...nothing. It's painfully quiet, silent apart from the loud ringing in my ears.

I switch the blade to my left hand and do the exact same thing on my right forearm, from my wrist to the inside of my elbow. The cuts vary from long, short, deep, shallow. Criss-crossing along the skin on my arm.

The ringing in my ears gets louder and louder, causing me to wince and cover my ears with both hands, knife clattering to the ground. It's when the knife comes in contact with the wooden flooring when the numbness goes away and I feel the pain.

I scream and pain, the pain was almost unbearable, stinging and burning sensations swam throughout my body. I fell onto my back in pain, hitting my head hard on the ground, then everything went black.

{A/N} - Hello!

I had major writer's block so I'm sorry!!

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