dreamt thoughts

she.

they don't understand
how much it hurts
when i see the pictures.
i see the pictures of them having fun. they didn't even ask me. is there something wrong with me? did i do something wrong?
if i did, please tell me.
just tell me and save me from the despair.
tell me and save me the heart ache.
tell me and take away the hot tears ready to flow like tsunamis that hit the innocent civilians .
tell me and save me from the depression lurking around every corner ready to pounce.
tell me and save me from the feeling to run and hide.
tell me and save the rushes of thought that just won't stop, that drown me of a night when i'm trying to sleep but will forget about by morning.
but.
you will never tell me
you don't want to tell your 'friend' that you forgot about her.
because you will feel guilty
and she will rain hell on your life.
but she won't actually do that
she will walk away.
she will walk away so fast you won't even notice.
and if you do you will question if she was there or not.
she was there physically but not mentally or emotionally.
she kept that closed off to the naked eye
only a few lucky souls got to see the tears
got to hear the sobs
got to watch her break
crack
split
and eventually
destroy herself.