dreamt thoughts

Love. II

Who am i to love you.
Who am i to love you when i have nothing to offer.
Drag me to the nearest edge and watch me fall.
fall deep, deep down into suffering.
falling deep, deep down into freedom.
Show me the greatest things in life.
Show me other cities are worth living in rather than this place.
i want peace but i attract chaos.
i want to be like you.
the one who's never hurt.
the one who's always happy.
the rain always drowns me when i step into it.
soaks my hair, clothes and shoes until i'm covered.
i love the rain, it's a symbol of my love.
All consuming.
Unpredictable.
Loved and Hated.
I dream of nightmares.
love, is my nightmare.
happiness, is my nightmare.
Complete bliss with no worries ahead, a perfect life, white picket fence, children running around my feet, sunny skies?
Also my nightmare.
Don't tell me you love me when you don't mean it.
The word love is thrown around too much these days and i want to keep it sacred.
special. i want it to be true when i say it. not a lie, hoax or just saying it for the sake of saying.