How To Polish A Pearl

Chapter 81 - Listening (1)

Author's Notes:

How are you all feeling after the last two chapters? Hanging in there? We have a few more chapters to go with back stories and some deep feelings. 

Heads up on some references to the self-destructive behavior in Wen Ke Xing's youth. And also a little bit of specific content.

⊂ (▀▿▀) つ

Wen Ke Xing's voice trails off when he tries to think if there is something he has forgotten about or some detail that may have been missed. Oddly enough, Wen Ke Xing doesn't feel the least bit embarrassed telling Zhou Zi Shu that he had been completely obsessed with him even before they had even met. He isn't even embarrassed about reciting the poem that he had remembered sitting in the wagon.

Zhou Zi Shu had remained quiet and listened. When Wen Ke Xing's voice had broken talking about his desperate and borderline suicidal behavior to erase his memories and the person he had become, Zhou Zi Shu had taken their interlaced fingers to his cheeks, nuzzling against them and kissed his knuckles. Silently telling him that he is there, he isn't alone. He is loved.

When Wen Ke Xing described how he had secretly snuck into the camp instead of walking in like the Guzhu that he was, Zhou Zi Shu had giggled. When Wen Ke Xing had described how he sat watching him sleep in the cage and talked about his expectations for their wedding night, whilst at the same time reciting a love poem, Zhou Zi Shu had finally understood. He was trapped in an abusive loop, doomed to repeat what had been done to him yet desperately trying to break the vicious pattern. And then one day he did it, he just suddenly changed...

Shifting inside the cold embrace, Zhou Zi Shu rolls up on top of Wen Ke Xing and rests his head on top of his hands that are stacked slightly above the solar plexus. His head moving slowly up and down along with his man's relaxed breathing.

Looking deep into those black ones, he repeats with a soft voice, "Jiushi wo rending di nage ren" (1), continuing with a mischievous curl at the right corner of his lips, "Besides, I am sure I would never be able to find someone equally or more obsessed with me than you are."

"Lucky me." Though it was said jokingly, Wen Ke Xing did feel like the luckiest man in the world. It was a strange feeling. He had never felt lucky in his entire life. On the contrary, he had spent most his life trying to avoid feeling the way that he did in Ghost Valley−like a ghost−like a violent ghost.

He had never dared to dream of being a man. He had gone from one beauty to the next, never feeling anything but power or lust, sometimes both. Searching for the next fix, the next high, the next blackout. Those few seconds when he didn't feel like a Ghost. Those few seconds when he didn't feel anything at all.

To be honest, Wen Ke Xing wasn't lucky, per say. Zhou Zi Shu thought that he knew why he had had come here and why he wasn't leaving. He was as close to certain as he could be, without it being spoken out loud and confirmed. It was just that he wasn't ready to tell Wen Ke Xing. It isn't really lying since I don't actually remember, right? It is just better if he remembers on his own...

(O▿O)

After a long moment of silence, whilst Wen Ke Xing keep caressing his waist, sometimes trailing over his ass cheeks and gently grabbing them with a low guttural sound deep in his throat, Zhou Zi Shu sighs softly and starts trailing that perfect jawline with his fingertips, this time his turn breaking the silence.