How To Polish A Pearl

Chapter 101 - Mourning

Author's Notes:

You'll notice that the chapters are getting a bit longer. My men apparently have a lot to say before this story ends. I just finished editing the ending and it will be a total of 109 chapters, so hang on! 

This chapter will contain references to violence previous battle as well as thoughts about ZZS going over the cliff.

For this chapter, to get into the sorrow of missing ZZS, I listened to a lot of Gong Jun. For the past months I have been obsessed with Gong Jun – Cruel Moonlight (from 2017).

You can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6difnw5uKQ

English translation of lyrics here:  https://lyricstranslate.com/sv/%E6%AE%98%E9%85%B7%E6%9C%88%E5%85%89-cruel-moonlight.html

⊂ (▀▿▀) つ

The bed is cold and lonely, making Wen Ke Xing shiver when he slowly wakes up. His right arm automatically reaches out to the empty space next to him and he sighs heavily, his heart aching more than just a bit. The specially ordered and brand new black funeral robes are hanging next to the bed but he is refusing to even look at them. Refusing to start another day without Zhou Zi Shu, he pulls the blanked to just under his eyes and stares up into the red fabric that covers the top of the bedframe.

It's been days and there has been no sign of Zhou Zi Shu. This wasn't part of the plan. Obviously, Zhou Zi Shu was never supposed to return openly. However, he was still meant to check in after he made it back to Wu Ying. Wen Ke Xing had checked for any sign of life by their waterfall, every morning and night since he got back after the battle, but he couldn't find anything out of place. No letter, no message, not even a footprint.

He stares up at the same spot for the third morning in a row, that rift in the fabric caused during one of their nightly dual cultivation sessions last week. Wen Ke Xing is trying not to worry—and failing miserably. It is when he is not surrounded by anyone that all the 'what if's' comes sneaking into his heart and into his mind. What if I had made it in time? What if you're actually injured? What if it wasn't an act? What if you actually died—

He keeps replaying everything in his mind, over and over and over again. He feels like he is going crazy. The visions are sharp, his senses heightened by the qi pumping through his meridians as he used his QingGong to run towards Zhou Zi Shu. But that stupid woman was covering up most of him. Even her stupid braid covered some of his face. That woman—who was that woman? There was a lot of blood, but it was pouring out of the deep cut on her back. A cut that Wen Ke Xing assumed to have been fatal.

You went over the cliff together. Did she drag you down? Didn't she die? Are you taking care of her? No, she wouldn't be more important than our plan. Wen Ke Xing knew that Zhou Zi Shu wanted to be here for the reveal when it came. So what am I missing? You held onto that woman and then you killed the ghost in black with Bai Yi.

No, Wen Ke Xing couldn't see what he was missing. They had exchanged the sign that the moment was right, but he could not see any other signs after that. They had locked eyes for a fraction of a second before Zhou Zi Shu had stumbled backwards over the edge, but Wen Ke Xing couldn't see any distress or pain. His man hadn't even blinked once, he was at peace. He had looked as if everything was going to be fine. There was no message as in 'Okay, this is it, I am faking my death now'. At the moment of his 'death', he was supposed to do nothing.

But that feeling in his heart just wouldn't go away. That is why he kept sending more and more ghosts to find his body. Of course he wanted to 'officially bury' Nu Zhuren, but also, for himself—just to make sure that any of his 'what if's' hadn't actually happened. And so far, the ghosts had come up empty. They hadn't even found the woman. Just lots and lots of assassins had been washed up further down the river.