Have you ever reached the stars?

Chapter 16

Hope

After the much needed heavy make out session in the bathroom, we return to our company in a state of total bliss. Jax is glowing tonight and I am so happy for him. He touches and kisses me every chance he gets and I am always eager to oblige. This must be the most relaxing, fun night I had in years. Laughter, teasing from his friends and his loving presence create an atmosphere I didn't even know I needed.

It feels so good to be surrounded by happy people, good music and a man that looks at you like you are the most important person in the whole world. I continue to blush whenever he whispers something inappropriate to my ear or when he randomly professes his feelings for me. He isn't shy to let everyone know that we are together and although there are moments that my mind tries to rationalize all this and convince me that I shouldn't have my hopes high, I decide to ignore it.

Tonight I choose my heart. My mind can rest and let me have the fun I deserve. I may sound selfish, making it seem like this is all about me, but the truth is, it's high time I put myself first. Having spent my whole life worrying about what is proper and expected of me, about tending to everyone's wants and needs placing me second has been exhausting and useless. Jax has made me understand this and even if he doesn't see it, I will make sure to thank him in my own way.

"Are you alright? Do you want to leave?" I zoned out for a moment but he still caught me not paying attention and wants to make sure I am okay. That's what makes him so special in my eyes. Always caring and kind, never putting pressure on me or asking anything in return.

"No. I want to stay if that's what you want too. I'm having a great time actually." Pulling me in for a kiss, he lets me know that he wants to stay a little longer too. Why wouldn't he? In the short time I've known him, this is the first time he can't stop laughing and the first time he seems closer to his age.

His age. Another sensitive topic that keeps swirling in my thoughts. Are people going to talk behind our backs now that we are openly together? Are there going to be whispers about me being older than him? Everyone in this town seems to have an opinion about everything. It won't be long before we become the topic of discussion.

Oddly enough, I am more concerned about him rather than myself. I will be gone in....... the near future but he will stay behind listening to comments and theories. I hate people gossiping and not minding their own business. I hate that I somehow feel guilty for being with a younger man when in reality I shouldn't. He is an adult like me who chose me to be his girlfriend. What a silly term! After the first week we started our little arrangement, I knew that what we shared was way more than a sexual transaction but never had I expected to be called his girlfriend.

Three hours later and after going through different emotions whenever someone has their eyes on us or simply talking to the person next to them while I know they are talking about me has been exhausting. I don't want to ruin his fun; I don't want to be that woman who makes her boyfriend's life complicated by staying skeptical in front of his friends. So, I decide to feign tiredness and leave before my mood changes more drastically.

To my surprise, once I announce that I should call it a night everyone agrees with me and starts gathering their things in order to leave. Jax asks me to wait for him while he says his goodbyes to the band. Although they have stopped playing hours ago, they stayed for drinks, mingling with the locals and seeming like having a great time. They came by our table as well and I was more than happy to hear all the stories about the time Jax was still their drummer.

I still felt a little out of place when everyone around the table has shared the same memories. I am not from here, I am just a tourist passing by, and how can I fit in? Checking my phone, I read a text from my dad asking me how my flight back was and if I need any money. I totally forgot to let them know I am safely back to Redwood Shores and I instantly send a quick reply, promising to call him the next day.