1989.

2.

** There once was a girl known by everyone and no one. **

It appears Meredith is trying a staring contest with me, her eyes are on me, while I chuckle at her weird behavior. I open my laptop, which is rested on my thighs and decide to log in to Twitter. I start to scroll down the feed as I reach a funny tweet from Caitlin, I smile and then I keep scrolling. I'm used to never answering any fan tweets, due to the fact I don't want them to feel less loved or excluded if I answer one, but I always check my interactions, just to brighten up my day because their tweets never fail to make me happy.

'' @ SwiftyyFann1242: I love you Taylor, wish you noticed meeeee!!! :( @ taylorswift13 ''

'' @ lovingtayisred13: i hope you smile every day of your life because we love you. @ taylorswift13 ''

'' @ WendyLuvsTay: Dont listen to the rumors, you are more than that! @ taylorswift13 ''

'What rumors?' I think to myself as I tried to figure out the list of wrong things I have done in the past few days and the only one I can consider as 'wrong' is hanging up the phone after a long discussion of how long distance relationships are totally a pathetic and a wrong thing to deal with. Other than that, I've done nothing wrong lately...so what rumors?! I pick up my cell phone that is placed next to me. I dial Selena's number, and I place it on my ear, waiting for her to answer.

"Taylor!" She says on the other line, after a few seconds of waiting.

"Hey, I need to ask you something really serious and important."

"Go ahead." I hear the crunching of food and I smile. She is always eating.

"Has the world turned against me? Have I've gone crazy or is it true?"

"Uh, I haven't checked Twitter or Facebook to be honest," She pauses. "Why are you asking this?" She chuckles, but it sounded like the most awkward and nervous of all chuckles.

"Uh, never mind then," I scratch my temple. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, in fact, I'm quite happy." She giggles.

"It fills my ear with joy to hear you say that. Is it because of...?" It's not necessary at all for me to say a name in particular, because she knows who I'm talking about.

"Yes!" She laughs. "I'm seeing him in a few days, can't wait!" There was a short silence filling the conversation, and then she speaks. "How are you doing?"

"I'm confused and I haven't thought about him, which is a good path down the road of oblivion if you ask me."

"I'm glad to hear that, keep going, I mean you are Taylor Swift for crying out loud!" She laughs, I laugh too.

"I love you," I smile. "I have to go okay?" I say, way too focused on the bright screen of my laptop.

"Bye." Selena says, ending the call. I put the phone where it was before I made the call, I start scrolling down my mentions and then I see another tweet that takes me off guard.

" @ frankhutt123: more boyfriends than fingers in my hands and feet and NOOOW that harry guy...sl*t. @ taylorswift13."

'What did I just read?' I shake my head trying to figure out that tweet in particular and all the amount of similar tweets following that one. I start to tremble since I thought the thing with Harry was something we kept a secret. I mean, before I started dating Conor, we tried to have a thing but long distance and a strange girl got in between and over the summer we tried again, but I met Conor and I had a wonderful time with him, when it came to being honest I had to tell him Harry was still haunting my heart and mind and he called it quits. I never stopped texting or calling Harry, but we both were different people and we were happy with our partners at the time, at least I was. I pick up my phone and dial his number, with my trembling fingers making it hard for me to type them right. Before I hit send, I start to think about the multiple and different scenarios that might happen if I make this call.

1. He might think I'm still madly in love with him and laugh at me.

2. He'll confess he blurred out our secret relationship, excluding the fact he was in love with me just as much as I was in love with him.

3. He'll ignore my call.

4. We might have a nice conversation.

5. We might decide to come back together.

6. Or maybe we stay right where we are.

So many scenarios and all of them scared every bone in my body. I think more than twice before making the call, and I start to feel all nervous and silly. Then, I think 'better not', so I put the phone back in its original place and forget of any desire of hearing his voice or arguing one last time or wanting to create small talk, you know, the weather, his music, his family...my cat. Anything to be honest. As I close my laptop I start to remember him and how much he knows me, every detail about me and all my fears and dreams, and that's all that I cared about back then and still, that's all I care. These people think they know about my love life and everything that I feel, but they don't know about Harry and the love we shared or how much love I had for him and how somehow, for some crazy reason, I still have the same amount of love for him. It is enough to make me want to make the call and tell him about it, but it is also enough to keep what we had like it is. It isn't the most perfect love story, in fact, it's crooked and twisted, but it's ours and that's something only we know about. And that is enough.