1989.

13.

** She lost him, but she found herself. And somehow that was everything. **

I let Camille, my make up artist, do her magic on my face and hair. The interviewer is going to meet me in a matter of minutes and it makes me nervous. The fact I'm going to speak about my new album for the first time, makes me knees tremble. It feels like my first interview ever. 

"You look gorgeous." Camille says, as she finishes adding some blush to my cheeks. The gentle strokes of the brush feel soft against my cheek, making me smile at her. 

"Thanks to you." I stand up from the chair. I stare one last time at myself and walk out of the room. I walk through a hall, straight into the door at the end. I knock once and instantly, Ben, opens it. 

"You look amazing today!" He greets me with a hug. "I feel nervous." He chuckles. I do too.

"That makes two of us." I take a quick look at the room. The white walls and the dark blue rug makes it feel a bit cold. The big glass window allows me to see the entire city skyline, making me feel some sort of safe. I smile to myself.

"Please sit down." He points at the chair beside his. I sit down and wait for him to drop the first question. 

"I like your shirt!" I say, trying to make small talk.

"Thanks, wow," He chuckles, nervously. "Are you ready for the first question?"

"Drop it." I say, pressing my lips together after I finish the sentence.

"Tell me something about your new album." Ben says, I smile and take a deep breath.

"Um, I've tried to challenge myself to make something different for every album that I've released, I wanted 1989 to be completely opposite to what Red was. On Red, I wanted to try on as many different sounds as I could; on 1989, it was about figuring out which sound fit perfectly."

"So, I heard the album already, congratulations!" Ben says, cheerfully.

"Thanks." I say, blushing.

"Tell me something about Out of The Woods, because it's brilliant!"

I chuckle. "Um, I wrote that one with Jack Antonoff and I'm really proud about that one in particular. I knew that was the road in which the album's sound was going. It's intense and chaotic and I wanted to portray the exact feeling you feel when you are in a relationship where you don't how long it's going to last," I say, as I try to explain my words with weird hand movement. "You are never on solid ground and just because a relationship isn't solid and healthy, doesn't mean it's not beautiful and worth something."

"What was the goal of your new album?"

I scratch my temple, pressing my lips together. "You know, with 1989, I wanted to change directions musically speaking. My label and management were the ones saying how risky it was, I was sure that I wanted 1989 to be what it is." I smile. 

"I love the album art," Ben states. He looks down at the sheet of paper in his hands and then looks back at me. "Why didn't you show your face for the cover?"

"Well," I raise my eyebrows, smiling. "I didn't want people to know the emotional content of the songs. I didn't want them to see a smiling picture of myself on the cover and think this was a happy album, or see a sad expression on my face and think, oh, another breakup album." I chuckle.

"Do you ever get inspiration from dreams or another situations that do not occur to you?"

"Yes!" I yell, excited. "There's a song on the album called All You Had to Do Was Stay and I was having this dream and in the dream my ex had come to my front door to beg for me to talk to him and I opened up the door and I went to go say, hi," I scratch my temple. "You know, something normal for us, humans, but all that came out was this high-pitched singing that said, stay. So I knew I had to write a song about the dream and the high-pitched stay I kept saying over and over again."

"Actually, that's one of my favorites. It's sad, but the melody doesn't make you want to cry." He says. 

"Thanks! I know, I didn't want that for the song, you know?" He nods. 

"Okay, I hope you don't get mad with the next one." He warns.

"I won't!" I chuckle.

"Why did you leave Spotify?"

"I saw this one coming!" We both chuckle. "Well, you know, people can still listen to my music if they get it on iTunes. I'm always up for trying something new and I tried to make it work with Spotify and I didn't like the way it felt to me, you know? I think there should be a value placed on art. I didn't see that happening on Spotify." I say. The interview kept going for fifteen more questions. I was feeling nervous and tired and anxious and all sorts of weird. 

"Well, Taylor, it was a pleasure to ask you all these annoying questions that you will probably be asked over and over again, until people get bored of your album," I chuckle. "Which, I find it impossible since it's breathtaking."

"Thank you so much, you have no idea how much I appreciate it." We hug and then, Ben walks me to the door, and gently opens it for me. I hug him goodbye for the last time and when I start to walk away from him and the shut door, I see him. He stops walking and so do I. I notice his bodyguards stay still too. He says something to them and then starts to walk toward me. I feel my knees go weak and the lump in my throat appears, just like the day we said goodbye for the last time.

"Taylor." He is right in front of me. I don't know what to say. This is exactly like my high-pitched stay dream. 

"Harry." I could get out something coherent out of my mouth, good job Taylor. 

"I heard it already."

"What do you think about it."

"I love it."

"Thanks," I clear my throat. "I have to go, I hope you are good." He nods his head once and I start to walk away from him. 

"I'm glad you're clean you know?" He says, making me stop. I turn around and his green eyes are looking straight into my blue ones. "But I still love you and the fact you wrote an entire album about me makes me love you even more. I'm sorry things didn't work out, but I still love you."

"I'm happy without you Harry can't you see?"

''Harry!" Ben says, interrupting. "Where's the rest?" Harry looks at him and then looks at me. ''Sorry." Ben understands and shuts the door, leaving us two to talk. 

"I know and it makes me happy that breaking up lead you to the place you are right now, but..."

"But what?" I ask.

"But I love you. You were right, it was sooner."