Carrier

Extraordinary Goodbye

After the Hong Kong show Zayn comes into my room and sits down on my bed. He has bags under his eyes and they are red as though he had been crying. His posture is all wrong, he's slumped and has none of his normal attitude.

I don't bother saying anything, knowing that Zayn isn't one to talk when pressed so I just wrap my arms around him. His response sets my nerves on edge for when he hugs me back it's not in his normal loving way. He holds me tightly, clinging as though he may lose me or is leaving me.

I do not pull back I just let him cling to me. I feel his tears falling and soaking my shirt. I still do not speak knowing he will talk when ready.

"Liam, I'm going to fly back home. I need a break. I can't keep doing this," he whispers making me pull back.

"Is there anything I can do? Are you okay? Is everything okay at home?" I ask trying not to shake from my panic.

"Everything's okay. I just need some time to register some of the stuff going on. Perrie and I also need some time to sort out our relationship. I already called management I'm flying out in the morning so I want to say goodbye now," he says pulling back from me.

"You're going to back, right? I mean I understand you need a break and I'm here if you need anything," I reply trying to keep myself from crying.

"I know you're always there for me. I love you," he leans in pecking my lips before getting up and heading towards the door.

"I love you too, you'll be back though right?" I repeat my question getting up off the bed.

"Maybe in a week or two," he smiles not putting my nerves to rest at all.

"Okay, love you," I whisper giving him a smile, but it is fake and he knows it for even his is not full.

"Lock the door behind me," is the last thing he says before stepping out into the hall.

I do as he says and make sure each lock is in place before letting myself sink to the floor. Why did his goodbye feel so final? He never flat out said if he would back all he gave me was maybe or he'd ignore the question entirely. He didn't tell me the entire reason for his departure and that hurts.

Wiping away a few loose tears I get up off the floor needing to do something to get my mind off what I had just been told, but I can't get myself to watch TV and I honestly just want somebody to talk to. Somebody that will help take my mind off things.

Louis.

I grab my phone from the night stand where it is charging and shoot him a quick text asking him if it is okay I come over to his room to hang out and if so his room number. I don't even have to wait a minute and I get my response.

Of course! I'm just down the hall. Room 213 Nialler is already here he''s eating everythin in the fridge :p

I smile at his response, overjoyed that I will not be spending my night alone and can hang out with two of my best friends. Not bothering to put my shoes on seeing as I'm just going down the hall I unlock the hotel room door again and make sure my hotel key is in my pocket before slipping out into the hallway.

I make my way down the hall feeling a little better, but something stops me. On the other side of one of the doors I can hear crying and part of a muffled conversation. I recognize the voice as Zayn's immediately and can't help be concerned.

I move closer to the door and with my ear pressed against the door, which I feel extremely guilty of doing, I listen in.

"Mum, I don't know what to do. I love him, but I shouldn't. I mean I can't possibly make a career with him at my side people wouldn't respect us or our music. Plus most of our fans are girls and we would lose them if we came out. Plus Perrie and I make more sense. I just need to work some things out with her....I know you like Liam better...Follow your heart, I know mum, but I want this career. Plus being with Liam is driving me crazy. If he wonders away from me even for a minute I have a heart attack fearing somebody's going to take him from me. I can't live worrying about him constantly and when the public finds out about his Clover ability to heal he's going to be even more sought after. Think about what if he could heal somebody of cancer, blindness, being paralyzed or some other life altering or fatal disease. Mum people will be having fist fight over him! Killing for him! Or what if the government finds out? They'll take him awake for experiments or something...I know, but I didn't choose this either in fact I don't want this. I just want a NORMAL relationship with a NORMAL person..." I pull back after that wanting to hear no more as tears slide down my cheeks. He doesn't want a break from the media or the stress of it all, he wants away from me.