Carrier

Always or Never

Dr. Ada had been right everything is kicking my butt. By the time the show is over all I want to do is curl up in a ball and fall asleep. I somehow make it through the two remaining shows without inncident.

With this leg of the tour over we have two months off to go home and be with family. Harry decided though that he wants to spend some time in Cape Town, and Louis was as well not going to fly home immeditly so he can do a little adventuring on his own. I know there is no way I am going to be able to hang back and do some exploring so I get on the plane with Niall to fly home to London. Niall agreed to spend our time off with me, saying that I probably shouldn't be home alone anyway. At that I kindly reminded him that Paddy lives with me, but Niall just whisks that comment away.

"What you thinking about, Li?" Niall asks from accross of me on the plane ride home. I had remained quiet for the entire ride so far and quiet this morning when we had packed our things up to fly home.

"I don't know. Just about the next two months. Do you think I'll have a bump by June we begin our other leg of the tour?" I ask looking away from the bright blue sky and floating clouds outside my window.

"Maybe, I don't really know. You don't have anything right now. Maybe you'll have a small one. It would be barely noticable," Niall shurgs like it is no big deal. "That isn't all on your mind. Come on what else is going through that head of yours?"

"My family and how they're going to take it. Zayn and what I'm going to do about him. I don't know...." I reply going back to looking out the window not really wanting to talk about what is going to happen next.

"Have you heard from anybody in your family?" he asks coming over to sit right next to me instead of across from me.

"Yeah, Ruth and Nicola keep texting me. My mum has left over twenty voice mails already. None of them are yelling at me or anything, they're just concerned...I don't what to say to them though, I mean they're going to ask who the other father is and I can't lie. My mum is going to have a heart attack when I confirm that it is Zayn, she has thought that we have been over sense the first tour. Ruth I know will support me, but when I confirm it she's going to be babying me like some helpless toddler or something. Nicola I just don't know....I mean she could go either way. She I could see trying to hunt Zayn down and forcing him to be with me for the "baby's sake". I don't know...." I reply lay my head on Niall's shoulder already feeling tired and it isn't even two.

"Your family loves you and will support you no matter what. They always have, Li. Maybe they'll be worried and slightly over protective, but they have that right. I mean being a pregnant Carrier isn't exactly the safest thing out there...I should tell you that I have been in contact with Zayn. We talked last night. He wants to talk to you. I might have told him that you can see him tomorrow night over dinner," Niall says making me pull away from him suddenly wide awake.

"You did what?! Niall! I don't need you meddling in my love life! I'm still not over what I overheard him saying to his mum! Hell I'm still lost when it comes to that damn song!" I snap at him whacking him in the back of the head hard.

"Right you overheard him when he was upset talking to his mum. He doesn't know that you heard that and he probably was only saying it in the moment, because he was upset. You're lost and I think he is too. In order to unconfuse yourselves you need to sit down and talk to each other. Be totally open, and don't hold back. You both need to get some things off your chest and this is the way to do it. You can't put it off either, Li or you're going to keep doing that and then before you know it you'll have a baby in your arms and no partner to help you. So I'm doing this to help both you and Zayn. When you two get married I had better be the best man, because I saved your sorry asses," Niall says making me raise an eyebrow at him trying to hide my smile.