Insatiably You | l.s.

Chapter 5

We all know the common saying of lies have a way of catching up to you in the end, I'm sure you have heard someone say that to you at least one point in your life, and I'm sure you know very well how true it is. I know for sure I have heard it and I can guarantee you it is in fact one hundred per cent true. 

Lies have a way of coming back and biting you in the arse when you least expect it. They will come and bite you back when your son walks into your room to borrow your lipgloss but only to instead find you surrounded by countless numbers of moving boxes and almost everything you owned boxed away. They will bite you in the arse when you have to tell that very son that you are moving in with your boyfriend of a year and that he, your son, has no choice but to go with you. They will bite you when you have to tell him that you're moving next week and made this decision months ago but chose to hide it from him. 

Most importantly it will bite you back when you, a mother, are the cause behind your son's tears and the betrayed look on his face. When you are now the reason why your son is downing his third tequila shot after raising his voice at you for the first time in years. 

It bites you in the arse when you know you are the reason for your son now sitting in a club getting drunk off his arse, because of your poor decisions. 

It bites you in the arse all the worse, the longer you decide to continue your lies. The longer you lie, the far worse the extremity of your actions are.

Now, I'm sure you are wondering what the hell happened when I went into my mum's room to borrow her lipgloss, earlier today. Well, quite frankly, I myself am still trying to work out what happened there. 

My mother whom I respected like no other, whom I trusted with my entire life and soul, the person to whom I told everything and in turn told me everything, I couldn't believe she would betray me as she did. 

She knew how much things like this affected me. She knew I couldn't cope well with changes. She knew that I needed time to adjust to new surroundings and new things. She knew this was just the way I was. She knew this, yet she chose to hide something as big and important as this from me.

She chose to hide the fact that she was making me leave my childhood home to go live with a man I wasn't even sure would be a constant in my life. 

She was making me leave the comfort of my home to go and live somewhere else, with a family I barely knew and just expected me to be okay with it. Just expected me to go with no questions asked. And just expected me to keep my thoughts, emotions and opinions to myself as this didn't concern Harry. 

This didn't concern pathetic, stupid, gay, freaky Harry. This didn't concern me, even though my entire life was being uprooted, it didn't concern me so I was expected to just be okay with it and adapt.

How selfish can a person be? How selfish can one be to expect their son to be completely okay with something like this? How selfish can you be to expect your son to be completely submissive and follow your every move, just because it didn't concern him? How selfish did you have to be?

Granted, I knew my mother's intentions were not these, and I knew that she meant well, but it still didn't stop the hatred blossoming in my chest. 

I know she didn't mean to hurt me, I know, but based on her actions it didn't help me from feeling as though her intentions were just that, to hurt me. It didn't help me from feeling as though she didn't care about me when in reality she was probably just too excited or happy to tell me. Or maybe she was just nervous about how I would take the news. 

I had no idea what her reasoning was, but if they were the latter I can't say I can really blame her though. With me and my messed up head, I wouldn't even want to tell me, but still, she should have.