Insatiably You | l.s.

Prologue (Edited)

For as long as Zayn could remember, he would see Louis looking longingly towards couples on the streets, in the club they now worked at, and even in the restaurants and bars they went to. Every place they visited, Louis had that very same look in his eyes.

From as early as they were kids in uni Zayn would see the same longing and desire burn in Louis' eyes, as though wishing he could have what the other couples did but never once making the needed move to fill that gaping hole in his heart. For years on end, Louis would never consider dating someone, let alone being intimate with them, even if there were multiple options presented to him.

Zayn, after all, would know, as when both Louis and he were in university, he remembers the countless numbers of girls asking him to chat them up with Louis. Or the ones brave enough to ask Louis out, only to be politely declined by him.

There were many who wanted to date Louis, ranging from boys to girls, but none ever seemed to fill that empty space in his chest cavity. None seemed to bring back the spark of happiness and ignite the flames of prurience that would briefly appear while he gazed upon the couples. None seemed able to make the crinkles appear by his eyes when he smiled largely enough. None until tonight.

To Zayn, it seemed as though no one was able to capture Louis' attention, to make him laugh until a light flush appeared on his cheeks, and to make his body thrum with hedonistic fervour leading to tonight, just like all the others, sending home countless disappointed lads and pretty ladies who tried to entice him with their looks. Tried to make him look at them with longing and desire, only to once again be rejected.

Before the curly-haired boy entered the club, Zayn was sure of these things; he was sure none of these possible candidates would bring back Louis, as Zayn knew him before his mother's passing, even if it was just for a brief moment, just as he knew no one would ever be able to enrapture him for more than a second, himself included too. Hence, there is nothing Zayn feels but a profound reposition upon seeing Louis' quite obvious reaction to said boy's presence.

However, while Zayn was admittedly overjoyed to see a difference in his friend's demeanour, a selfish, hidden part of him still longed to know what had happened to Louis all those years ago when they were teenagers. As tactless as it sounded, he felt as though he had a right to know, especially when he tried his hardest to help, sacrificing his own happiness at times, only to get a cold shoulder and eyes filled with tears in response to any questions asked.

Granted, he knew Louis' reasoning had something to do with his mother's passing and possibly the guy always attached to Louis' hip before they became best mates, but, for the life of him, Zayn couldn't remember what was so special about that boy; all he remembers is that at one point in time, Louis and the boy were inseparable, and then suddenly the boy was no longer there.

Soon enough, though, Zayn learned his lesson not to ask.

He learned not to ask after he made the mistake of doing just that one day—asking. He asked, and there was nothing he regretted more than doing so.

He never wanted to see that look on his best friend's face again. Never wanted to see the pain, the fear, the terror, and most importantly, the betrayal thrown towards him just because of a few choice words. Most of all, he never wanted to be the cause of any of Louis' anxiety attacks ever again, knowing himself just how awful they felt, so he learned.

He learned from his mistake that Louis was not ready to speak about the reason behind his walls, and he probably would never be, but that was alright; Zayn understood since Louis did the same for him, never once asking why he would disappear for days on end only to return with red-rimmed eyes and a broken look.

They understood each other, and even though they were a bit broken in their own way, they had each other, and that was more than enough.

They wanted the best for one another, and to do this, they realised they need not ask many questions but instead be there for each other and hold the other close when the anxiety threatened to break them.