Wanting What I Shouldn't

Chapter 32

"Kingston—"

"I'm really sorry baby. It's all my fault."

"No, Kingston—"

"It should've been me, and with your parents...I couldn't protect you."

I wince slightly at his words, touching his cheek with my hand gently "No, Kingston listen—" he shakes his head, his gray eyes filled with guilt.

A sharp pain rips through my shoulder and a whimper leaves me. The burning pain spreading through my shoulder like wildfire, a sharp sting registering.

His eyes flash and his hands cup my face "Baby, baby, what's wrong?" He asks, his soft voice coated in worry.

He hasn't left my side since I woke up to his voice telling me all about our future he has planned out. And I couldn't be looking forward to the future any more than I already am.

The future is so bright with Kingston in it.

The one time I seen the entire Grey family cry was a few hours ago. Kingston gripping my hand, telling me he loves me, tears trailing down his face.

I can't get rid of the sound of his raw voice, cracking and crying. His hair was messy, his eyes red and streaming with tears.

   He's helped me into the car, carried me up the stairs to his room, picked out my clothes for me, told me he'd change me and brush my hair so I wouldn't hurt my shoulder.

   And he did all that. Kissing my neck and good shoulder, rubbing his hands along my stomach, telling me how beautiful I am, how too damn brave I am. How sexy. How lovable.

   I instructed him on how to put my hair in a neat ponytail, and how to braid my hair. In the end he said he would learn to French braid some day, so if we have a daughter he can do her hair while I sleep in.

   This man has my heart.

Kingston shuffles closer to me, his gray eyes swirling with concern "What's wrong amor? Is it your shoulder?" He asks softly, his thumbs rubbing my face gently.

   I nod and his eyes gloss over "I'm so sorry. It should've been me, I should've pulled you behind me, anything. I'm supposed to protect you—" his guilt filled voice makes my heart clench.

   I can't imagine how he feels right now. I would've taken a gun and shot myself if Kingston would've gotten shot. Just so I can feel his pain.

   "I love you." I randomly blurt and he pauses, looking over at me and blinking confused.

   My chest heaves with a sigh, "Sorry, it's the only way I could stop you from apologizing more for something I would do a thousand times over again." He shakes his head at me, rubbing a hand over his face "God. I love you too goddamn much to lose you." He whispers, snuggling his face into the right side of my neck.

My heart thumps against my chest as I lift my hand gently, dragging my fingers through his hair "I know, I feel the same about you. I love you Kingston, and that's not going to change. I'm not leaving you so take that thought and shove it up your ass." I whisper to him, my lips touching his ear.

He sighs gently, trailing his hands down to my hips and slipping the warm skin under the soft fabric. His fingertips dance over my skin, gently tracing random patterns along the skin of my hips.

"Can I get your handprint?" He asks hesitantly. I blink at him, what he told me in the hospital replaying in my head. An idea pops into my head "Can you give me yours?" He nods, slipping off the bed.