forbidden love!

iii. waiting hour pt.1

ON MARCH 25TH 2012, WHEN the clock was showing 17:27, nine years old Janis Daniels was sitting on the couch watching 'Redwall'. Marsha Daniels, was in the kitchen making dinner and Harrison Daniels was supposedly on his way home. Neither Marsha nor Janis them expected the knock on their door, nor the news they were going to receive.

But as Janis was watching his show, red and blue lights started flashing from the windows.

"Mom." his eyes couldn't see what was happening outside, their windows made everything seem blurry .

Marsha went to the living room to see her child pointing at the red and blue lights. A few knocks were heard on the front door, Marsha was frozen in place, after none of them opened the door, another knock was heard, this time harsher. The woman started making slow steps to the door with wide eyes, not knowing how many emotions were going to fly through her for the next few moments.

Janis' attention was now on his mother, going after her. The kid's show from the tv was still going, but now in the background for him.

"Open the door!" Marsha opened the door outside where two police officers were looking at her .

"Yes?" looking at the officers, a woman and a man. Their eyes looked almost sympathetic, almost .

"Mam' , Harrison's Daniels, your husband's dead body has been found..." those were the only words Janis heard, the world stopped spinning for him. His mothers body was frozen in place, none of them believed it. But when one of the officers took out a picture from their bag to prove his death, there was nothing to say.

Janis has always been an ugly cryer, it started as few tear slipped down his cheek followed by his face getting reder by the seconds and then the scolw, the one that made him scrunch his face up.

This was the first time Janis Daniels wanted to be something else so bad. Something without emotion, something without a brain. A lamp maybe or a chair, if it was so then he wouldn't have been feeling all of the emotions that were going through him, they were like a storm. Sadness, anger, disbelief, despair, guilt, loneliness. Loss.

The blank white hospital walls were staring back at Janis. The horrible white painted wall watching all of those sick and dying people everyday, doing nothing but being a wall. Sometimes Janis wanted to be this wall, watching other people's lives , being a watcher, watching the live passing by.

It's ridiculous how many times he has stared at her in the last weeks. Having the same thoughts over and over again.

"Daniels!"

At the sound of the familiar surname being called, he stood up with a grunt from the long waiting.

Step by step Janis Daniels was getting closer to the hospital room.

203 was the room number.

Now finally standing in front of the door, Janis took a deep breath, swelling his nerves deep down and opening the door. Inside the room, on the bed was lying a woman dressed in a hospital dress. After staring at the floor blankly he went to sit on the chair next to the hospital bed.

The woman was staring at him silently, waiting for the boy to start talking.

"How are you?" Even when Janis' voice was quiet the sound still rang inside the quiet room.

"I'm fine." she smiled, after seeing the look on his face, her soft voice was heard again." I've been better. How have you been?"

"I'm fine, too." everything in the room was silent, except the beeping of the monitor and the breathing of two of the Daniels family members.

Staring at the boy in front of her and back to her hands the woman was silent, even her talkative personality couldn't say anything.

"You are dying.'' his voice had a different tone this time, he was stating a fact. The strawberry-blond woman looked up from her hands shocked, not expecting her son to be so drastic.

"I-I'm not-... " the tears left from all of the crying nights , started gathering in her eyes. Trying to push the thought -about dying- away from her head the mother let out a laugh, looking up at the ceiling.

"Mom." Looking back at him again, Janis looked like he may cry, all of the feelings he was trying to put away this week came back all at once.

"Who told you that?" she asked, like it wasn't obvious .

"Stop." he shook his head at her , the tears now rolling down his face. Why was his mother thinking she would get away with this, it was time to have this conversation. "Mom, the doctors told us everything." this time it was her shaking her head, then she started laughing out of nowhere, but his silence made her stop.

"No, no, no..." her voice was getting weaker with every 'no'. It hurts seeing her like this, weak, scared, tears falling from her eyes and after a moment loud sobs started breaking out of her.

At the sound of a patient crying a few nurses came in, trying to calm the middle-aged woman down.

Janis couldn't take it, he felt like puking his insides out of his body, like throwing up. Getting up on his feet , he hurried to the door and out of it panting. Going into some empty hallway and leaning on one of the walls. His heart rate was getting faster and faster, breath tightening in his throat. Feeling dizzy, he started sliding down the wall until his lower body hit the ground.

As his vision was going blurry and breathing quicker , suddenly a figure appeared in front of him.

"You are having a panic attack." The slightly familiar figure stated the obvious. "Do you have them often?" the muffled voice asked.

Janis tried answering but it felt impossible trying to speak right now, he started shaking his head.

"Alright , try breathing with me. Breath in and out. " Janis tried doing exactly what the muffled voice told him to do. "Do it with me." he slowly took a deep breath through his nose," Just like that ." then gently through his mouth. The mysterious person in front of him was encouraging him with nobs of his head, trying to help the panicked boy.

The more calm Janis was getting, the more he was able to see the figure in front of him. The person in front of him was male, obviously Janis knew from the voice, but now seeing the face of someone he at last expected to help him, was a shock.

I'm sorry if a wrote the panic attack the wrong way, I tried to do my research and hopefully I've succeed in doing it the right way.