"Another day, another night. Another day to feel so worthless. I can't caaare, about my existential crisis! Let my demons rage on! Never loved myself anyway."
(This melody was suited for Disney Frozen's "Let it go", but feel free to play to whatever song you can make it work with).
...
Poco: Welcome! Today I'll be playing a song called, "Mild Depression": a subjective performance that is favoured by many of today!
Poco: *starts screaming and screeching wildly*
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Brawlers on "Morality"
Jessie: Everyone should be treated with fairness and justification, because with none we would be nothing more than the animals we aim to be above.
Bibi: If it breaths, break it's knees.
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Rosa: Bea, I see you have conducted research on the specimen?
Bea: Yes! I'm quite excited to share the results! So far, it seems to prefer enclosed spaces!
Eve: F*** YOU! F*** YOU ALL! JUST WAIT TILL I'M FREE F***ERS! I'LL EAT YOU ALL, STARTING WITH YOUR F***ING HEAD! I'LL FEED WHAT'S LEFT TO MY CHILDREN!
Rosa: ...
Bea: It also seems to have an unreasonably strong obsession with a gesture involved with sticking up your middle finger!
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Colt: Babe!? How could you?
Shelly: Don't "babe" me! I'm a grown a** women, I don't have to be loyal!
Colt: Didn't I mean anything to you though? The trust! The times we had together!
Shelly: All of it fell apart the day you looked at her!
Piper: Don't you dare wrap me into this! I had good intentions from the start!
Shelly: F*** you did! First thing you do when you meet him is go out of your way to steal him from me!
Piper: I did no such thing!
Brock: And I think that's enough of monopoly for today! How about we call it a draw?
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Dynamike: Hey guys! Imma stuff 15 marshmallows into my mouth!
Carl: You're a hazard to society.
Jacky: And a coward, do 20!
...
Edgar: Start from the top, Colette. What happened?
Colette: Well, I- I came home. Right?
Edgar: Okay?
Colette: I started going through my book, y'know, my scrapbook.
Edgar: Go on?
Colette: And then this guy walks in!
Edgar: Yes?
Colette: And- a- and you wanna know what he did?
Edgar: What did he do?
Colette: He called me cringe!
Edgar: And then what?
Colette: Then? Uh, let me think- Oh yeah! I picked up my steak knife and stabbed him twenty three times in the chest!
Edgar: ...
...
Fang: Hey! Buster! I need your trusty counsel on this particular issue.
Buster: Hit me.
Fang: So I have to make dinner in 30 minutes and I have three cases of beer I need to finish fast-
Buster: Use the beers as your dinner!
Lola: What?! That's a terrible idea! What about your liver-
Fang: Thank you! You see, this is why I always know I can count on you Buster!
Buster: No problem! Ask me anytime!
Lola: How do either of you function on a daily basis?
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Bibi, in jail: So, Crow who do I call?
Crow: Well the right thing to do is call Bull, but you'd honestly be safer in jail.
...
Janet: Hey Bonnie! 10 bucks Stu flies into a wall.
Bonnie: Alright bet! There's no way he would-
*CRASH*
Janet: A hundred bucks he flies through another wall, lands on his face, skids across the floor, into the gasoline, lights it on fire, and runs straight into the river, all in the span of fifteen seconds!
Bonnie: Oh definitely bet! There's no way-
*CRASH, SKREE, CRASH, SCREAM, SPLASH*
Bonnie: ...
Janet: ...
Janet: Your rights as a human being he-
Bonnie: NO!
YOU ARE READING
Brawler Bloopers
FanfictionThis is more of my own s***post book, but I'll sprinkle some short stories in there as well, along with every idea I have for writing. Regardless, I hope you enjoy!
