Brawler Bloopers

The Trophy Thief

"So, you gathered us all here. What for?" Evil Gene asked through the translator. Four villains sat around the table; the host still turned to face the other direction.

"Y- y- yeah. I have a whole schedule of th- th- things to do ever s- since I separated from 8-bit." Virus 8-bit snarled.

"Psh, such as what?" Arch-villain Bea scoffed. "Perhaps failing another one of your so-called genius plans?"

The Virus scowled at the black and white cartoon. "At least I took my s- shot. We've y- y- yet to see wh- what you bring to the t- table".

"Simple, I don't bring a half-broken voice box."

8-bit wheezed a glitched laugh. "Oh now, you're the o- one to t- talk auto tune! Wh- what year w- were you e- e- even made? 1980?"

"Enough, both of you!" Evil Gene snapped. The two reluctantly brought their attention back to the figure dressed in purple.

"You get our point. What could be so important that you needed all four of the most infamous and strongest supervillains known in this dimension?"

"If we're the strongest then the standard must be low." Bea grumbled.

"Don't flatter y- yourself." 8-bit hissed.

Suddenly their host raised his right hands in a stopping gesture. The two immediately fell silent. With a spin of the chair, Dark Lord Spike turned to address the three of them, staring at each of them in the eyes. After a short pause, he picked up a remote and clicked a button. An image flashed above the table. All three looked at it with widened eyes.

Bea laughed. "Funny, now what's the real reason you brought us here?" Spike glared at her, narrowing his eyes as she quickly fell silent.

The Virus chuckled. "You... y- y- you brought us here, to discuss this?".

"Virus, silence" Gene snapped.

"Wh- why? We all know t- that it's a fool's mission. The se- se- se- security sy- system is better than any bank or prison; more than a dozen locked metal doors, 24 h- oURr surveillance, and that's not e- even mentioning the heavy duty anti- anti- antivirus police that even I- I'd hav- have trouble with."

There was a brief pause. Gene suddenly scowled at the cactus. "8-bit raises a good point. Every single brawler has poured their own security in the vault, each specifically designed to counter us, including you. What could we possibly do?"

Spike picked up the remote and clicked again, another image flickered up, this time showing a person.

8-bit hissed wildly, backing away from the hologram. "Her?! W- wh- what do we n- ne- need her for!?"

"For once I agree with the machine." Bea muttered. "Jessie has never been on our side. On the contrary she has fought viciously against us, including manufacturing some of the security to the vault herself."

Gene sneered as he looked at Spike. "If there is no point to your rambling, perhaps we should reconsider what you bring to this team."

"Same h- here."

"Wait..." Bea suddenly cut in. "I suddenly see your logic." she stated. Both 8-bit and Gene were confused. "However, I can barely believe it."

"Believe what?" Gene asked, but his eyes suddenly widened as he came to the conclusion as well. "You can't be saying..."

"What? W- w- w- what is he saying?" 8-bit asked, still confused.

Bea let out a distorted chuckle. "Seems the glitch is a little slow."

8-bit growled. "Say that again and I'll show you who's t- truly slow."

"Silence!" Gene yelled. "How old are you two, seriously?" He looked back at Spike. "If what you're saying is true, then this is... an interesting opportunity for another member. Let's just see if she can follow her orders."