Lateralus (An Obey Me Fic)

A Pact

Waking up to a cat on my face and a snake or two curled up around me is normal. Waking up to all that plus a demon standing in my doorway is not a usual occurrence. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I squint at the figure in the doorway trying to discern who it is exactly.

"Mammon?" I grumble, my voice coming out broken and strained. Smacking around my bedside table I look for a water bottle that, given I was home, would have been there.

"Lucifer wanted me to wake you up its time for breakfast." he grumbles, agitation coming off in waves from him.

"What day, and what time is it?"

"Saturday, and its like 8 in the morning. Get yer ass up."

"Oh fuck no. New rule dont wake me up on weekends at ungodly hours I'll get up when I get up. Now go away, I'm going back to bed."

"Lucifer will get mad if you arent up."

"Lucifer can kiss my ass, its the weekend I'm not getting up until at least noon. Now scram!" I turn over away from the door and wrap my arms around Baalthazaar.

"Dont say I didnt warn you human." the demon sighs and leaves the room.

Just as I am on the brink of falling back to sleep I hear my door open and footsteps approach the bed.

"Mammon, I told you to scram I dont give a rats ass if its breakfast. I do not want to be disturbed until either I have gone downstairs or its noon. Let me sleep."

Agitation seeps through the room, in a way that doesnt feel like Mammon. Growling I turn back over to be met with Lucifer standing by my bedside.

"I say its time to get up."

"And I say kiss my ass, its only 8 in the goddamn morning theres no way in hell that my ass is going to be up this hour on a Saturday." I turn back over snuggling back up to my snake.

There's a bemused chuckle from the male before my covers are ripped off of me.

"FUCKING HELL MAN I'M NOT WEARING PANTS. GET OUT SHIT FOR BRAINS!" I yell tugging my oversized shirt back over my bare ass which Lucifer just got a full view of.

Lucifer just stands there with an annoyed expression, still holding the light purple quilt from the bed before turning and leaving.

"I expect you to be downstairs and wearing pants in 5 minutes."

"HOW BOUT YOU KISS MY FAT ASS." I throw a pillow, which had fallen on the floor, at him right as he closes the door.

Now fully awake and thoroughly pissed off, and now out to spite Lucifer's entire existence. I throw on a pair of underwear and put on a timer for 6 minutes, casually passing time by checking on the two snakes that didnt escape, when my timer goes off.

Chuckling to myself I make my way to the dining room in just the big TOOL shirt I had thrown on the night before. Pointedly walking to where Lucifer could see me I make a show of dramatically flicking my hand to flip him off. Causing Satan to start wheezing.

I offer my most charming smile before heading into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Looking around and opening a few cabinets I cant find any glasses.

"WHERE THE HELL DO YOU KEEP THE GLASSES?" I shout before opening one that had them. "NEVER MIND I FOUND THEM."

Grumbling, I crawl onto the counter to get a glass before hopping down. "COULDNT HAVE HAD THEM ON A LOWER SHELF YA TALL ASSES."

Filling the glass in the sink I walk back out, seeing the amused stares of most of the brothers, minus Lucifer who looks very unamused.

"Oh eat my ass Lucifer, I will make your ass even more miserable than you look, if you try to get me up at an ungodly hour again."