What do the stars feel when they look at Us?

Chapter 4: Buffalo

I managed to ignore Linda for the following days. Of course, she noticed it. She isn't stupid. It also wasn't the first time this had happened.

And there might be a slight difference between hanging around each other for most of the time and straight up ignoring.

It was the first time that the caterpillars hadn't been defeated by her.

I managed to do it myself, with a little help from Pedro, when we were down by the lake.

His words had been echoing through my mind relentlessly. That she made feel things. That nothing except her made me feel things.

That the reason for that might be my dad dying.

I didn't feel strong or capable enough at all to face this. And that's what facing Linda meant.

I know I had to do it eventually.

It felt like this big thing I had to overcome to become the person I'm meant to be.

Does that make sense?

Coming from a person that couldn't care less about everything?

Maybe not everything has to make sense so you can keep going. As long as it eventually does.

-

What didn't make any sense at all was that she showed up in front of my doorsteps the next Friday.

The last day before the holidays started.

Linda was there to fetch me. A while back she had met a few people at some park I don't think I've ever been to. We talked about it before the blackout. I forgot.

That she would go meet them this week and didn't want to go alone.

They seemed to be like her. Or maybe like the person she wants to be.

My friends always used to tell me what a girly girl she was. Not only because of her boobs, but because of her whole appearance. She wore a lot of dresses and stereotypically feminine clothing. Delicate, fragile eyelashes. Long, pretty hair.

Now she stood before me. With black baggy jeans and an oversized shirt. Transparent mesh material above both her arms. Thick, black eyelashes, artistically drawn in eyeliner. Her hair was short.

Cut just above her shoulders.

For a moment she left me speechless. Not because her appearance changed.

More because..., she actually came for me.

"I don't think I like it", she said.

"What?"

"All of this." She demonstratively let her arms dangle next to her outfit. "It was worth a try, though."

"Yeah."

She looked at me with concern written all over her face.

"Ben, let's just forget what happened. No matter what even happened. Let's not talk about it now. This..., today..., this is important to me. So, please, get ready so we can leave."

I turned away obediently to stroll off to my room.

"Maybe put some holes in your shirt while you're at it!", she yelled after me with the sun in her voice.

-

Linda was walking unusually fast. It looked like her legs wanted to give up and fly. She didn't look too much towards the sunset bathed city as we were stepping down our hill.

Her thoughts were somewhere else entirely.

A sudden breeze passed through the hole in my shirt. It was a stupid hole. I don't know why I cut it in. Right Next to my stomach.