What do the stars feel when they look at Us?

Chapter 28: Don't Come Back

We decided to go out on Friday evening. And to eat at Gina's parent's restaurant. Gina, Linda's best friend. Boobless Gina.

The tension in the air as we sat there, the four of us, felt like easy to break bubbles. Reflecting faint light, softly sparkling.

The restaurant was American themed. Red-white tiles and a positively familiar smell of fat sizzling in deep fryers. Linoleum floors and squeaky, leather seats on parallel benches.

Pedro and Merlin were very open about the idea of this being a date. While Linda and I held hands under the table. Sometimes she gently stroked my arm and looked at me.

With a look that said, "They're crazy, but I'm crazy about you".

The happiness of all of them together nearly made my heart explode.

It really, physically hurt from time to time.

Gina worked as a waitress that night.

As time went on the place got emptier.

And the emptier the place got, the more often she would stop by to listen in.

We stayed there for a long time.

Eventually, she got herself a chair and joined our conversation.

It got easier as Gina was there.

Because something fascinating happened.

I know that Linda talks a lot about Gina. Like, as soon as she starts talking about her, Gina becomes the central aspect of the story. The hero or the villain.

I know that Pedro talks a lot about himself. He makes stuff be about himself. But in a way that is a mixture of adorable and funny. Or pitiful, but not in a bad way, not at all.

But as soon as Gina sat down, I knew why Linda talked about her like that. And why she was completely different from Pedro.

In the way she excessively showed emotions. How she laughed and joked around. The way her jokes were phrased and delivered. How she seemed so flawed and fragile, with a poorly thought out room for development in her head. The way you got a picture of who she was and who she could be within seconds of seeing her, not in a way that made her seem simple, but it made you notice that it truly made sense she existed right here and like this in that moment.

You could see that, if this story was told, she would be the main character.

-

The conversation that had been quite balanced between the four of us now shifted into a whole other direction. It became a playground for Merlin and Gina to exchange whatever their main character heads came up with.

They wrote whole movies about their lives with their words.

Backgrounds and sceneries.

Fears, hopes and dreams.

It made me feel hollow in a way.

Because all I ever focused on was growing more emotional. And in my pursuit, all I was focused on had been people.

It felt like I had an awakening but didn't know where and how to live the new life I'd been granted.

Like I couldn't fathom the depths I could dive in yet.

Linda's helping hand started to feel a little bit heavier than before.

Gina talked about how she was scared to learn how to drive. That her driving instructor had shouted at her for every tiny mistake. That she snapped back at him and walked away from him and the car on the open road.