What do the stars feel when they look at Us?

Chapter 22: Sea Fortress, Pt. 2

I actually did have Merlins' number saved in my contacts. I found that out, directly after, while walking home after work, across the bikeway, beneath the street lights that cover its sides.

I called him without a single bit of hesitation. And he picked up the same way.

"Hey, Ben!"

"Hey, Merlin."

"So..., do you remember now?"

"I'm sorry..., I still don't, to be honest."

"Should I explain what happened?"

"Yes, please, I'm still walking home so..."

"You have a bit of time?"

"Yeah."

"Well..., then..."

For a few seconds, there was silence at the other end of the line.

"Before you and Linda took off..., oh did I congratulate you yet?"

"No, but it's..."

"Congratulations, Ben!"

His bright, honest voice made me smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem, anyway, before you guys took off and um...., as you were sitting around like a ghost I tried to talk to you and you told me about the library and your friend Pedro and..., yeah..."

"Yeah...?"

"In my opinion, there are a few key things that determine what kind of person someone is talking about."

"Like what their favourite book is?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"So what did I say?"

"A lot."

"And what exactly about 'A lot' has made you realize what kind of person Pedro is?"

"Everything."

"Everything?"

"Ben, like I said, you sat there like a ghost. Oscar and I debated if we should call an ambulance right next to you and you didn't even flinch. And when I finally got you to talk, you talked about him."

"And I probably told you that he's..."

"Gay."

"Yeah..., gay."

"You did."

Breathing felt uneasy. It had gotten quite cold outside. I saw tiny clouds exiting my mouth.

"I suck at being a best friend apparently."

"I don't think you do."

"No, I just..., wait..., so you are?"

"I am."

"Oh..."

"What?"

"Maybe I don't suck at being a best friend."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I found a bench at the side of the road. Sat down, put one leg above the other. Looked up to the stars and they looked back at me.

"So..., what did you think of Pedro today?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Because I bet you want to tell me."

"I don't know."

"Well - do you want to tell him?"

Indistinct mumbling. Further trying to speak.

"Maybe."

I kicked my feet into the air. My stomach was full of tiny explosions.

"What makes you so happy?"

"That's an incredibly good question."

"So?"

"I don't know."

"Ben?"

"Yes?"

"What is..., he like?"

"Who?"

"Come on..."

"Who?"

"Pedro."

I put my feet back on the ground. Watched the clouds wither away.

"He is..., he scratches his head when he's nervous. He's bad at new situations, just like me. He is..., talkative. But not annoying. He asks people what their favourite book is to determine who they really are."

Merlin made quiet noises of understanding.

"He is fragile but stronger than most. He is smart and his head is full of words that I've never heard before."

"He sounds..., pretty."

"Only sounds?"

"Maybe."

"Merlin?"

"Yes?"

"He prefers beautiful over pretty."

Indistinct, quiet breathing. Imaginary connection of heartbeats. Undisclosed excitement.

"Thanks, Ben."

"Pedro is actually working tomorrow, after school, at like 4, probably more like 5 pm, just to be safe. I won't be in the library until Tuesday."

"Thanks."

"Good night, Merlin."

"Good night."