What do the stars feel when they look at Us?

Chapter 23: blacklettersonredpages

It probably wasn't right to spy on Merlin and Pedro. But I just had to. The spirit of adventure had coated my heart chambers and, you know, I've never really done any forbidden or dubious or shady things – and you've gotta start somewhere, right?

I decided to stroll around the city centre after accompanying Pedro to the library. I went to our favourite book store, right at the town square, with dark carpet as its floor and the dark shelves and sat down somewhere, going through the most complicated looking books, looking at the words they contained.

Wondering if I could read them. If Pedro would know them.

And then I got the text from Merlin. That school was out and he was heading over to the library. His school wasn't as close to it as Pedro's or mine.

It was a ten-minute walk for both of us. For Merlin probably half an hour.

At a leisurely pace, a term I had just read, I made my way back. I must've been overtaken by the thousands of pebbles on the ground at some point.

The closer I got to my target location, the more my heart started to race.

Not race like when Linda leaned against me.

Or our lips met.

Her lips.

Linda's lips.

Heart racing.

Differently.

For the first time in my life, I hated the fact that the sliding doors of the library made sounds while opening. I also noticed, for the first time, that I usually really liked the sound they make. I snuck behind every pillar I could find. Completely disregarded everyone from the outside, looking in, onto my childish expedition.

I found them in the back of the ground floor. Their talking sounded like the rushing of separate waterfalls close to another. As if nothing could enter their little world of wordings.

Merlin held something behind his back.

It looked like something made out of paper, with black letters on it.

Like a book page, torn out.

I hoped to dear God that Merlin copied the page and didn't take an original one.

I might've, should've given him that advice as well. But in the end, no one can really explain people.

Merlin gave it to him.

In the broad daylight, it became something more than just bland, crumpled up paper.

It was folded.

Into a rose.

Pedro and I simultaneously opened our mouths in astonishment.

It must be a page from Merlin's favourite book, right?

Damn, he's good.

I kept my excitement hidden behind the pillar where I stood.

And for the first time in my life, I was able to witness Pedro's tanned face turning cherry dark red.

The sheer energy, stored in my cheekbones, forcing me to endlessly smile, transferred their power into my legs.

I had to run away.

First of all, they kind of had an intimate moment which I spied on.

Secondly, there was so so much volume filling up inside of my chest.

I had to get it out. Everything that was stuck in my airways.

All the tension I kept in to not get caught.

I scurried past all the pillars I hid behind.

Through the smoothly sounding sliding doors.

Tiny raindrops were slowly crashing down onto my head.

They made me think about all the first times in my life I had experienced in the past few weeks.

And I kept running.

Past all the stores that were bordering the shopping mile just like the library did.

All the red clothes, hanging on and about, the red signs, all signalling different and confusing things, red flowers, red paint, red faces.

I thought of the.

First kiss.

Kiss.

Linda.

In my mind, I saw Merlin's paper rose bloom.

And all its blossoms spreading and floating around the room.

Black letters.

Red pages.

Mundane thoughts.

I couldn't wait anymore.

I had to go see Linda.