What do the stars feel when they look at Us?

Chapter 37: Perseus, Pt. 2

I put my cigarette out on the bare kerb. I really wasn't a smoker. It was just that Bren had left a half-empty pack of cigarettes behind in my apartment. And when I looked through the smoke, crystals in the winter air, the sky behind it was starting to shape into a compass.

Showing me to head north.

Dark clouds. Gods must've fought out wars behind them.

I walked across the motorway service area to the rental car I got this morning. Maybe it was a twist of fate that they had handed me the keys to a Fiat. Maybe I really just wanted to force fate.

Sometimes I wonder if I made any progress.

Because if I did, I probably wouldn't be driving right now.

My lungs wouldn't sting as much.

I wouldn't be watching the smoke covering rain clouds.

I would take the week off to go home.

To see my mom and Linda.

Maybe text Pedro again to find out if he was in town.

Which he probably wasn't.

I would at least think of him.

But I definitely wouldn't think of her.

-

The harbour city still looked the same. Some buildings had been refurbished. Some were full of black stains. The sky was still filled with doves. The people still looked unfamiliar. And I couldn't see the difference between every corner at the turns I took.

I ended up just driving for a while. It was afternoon already.

Somehow, I had this stupid idea in my head. That I might see her if I just searched long enough.

Eventually, the streets seemed to start to match my memories.

I even recognized the parking spot near the book store.

I parked, got out, walked towards it.

I shed the cold winter off my skin because I hadn't put on a jacket for the short distance between the spot and the store. There was a bell ringing when you entered it now. And the shelves seemed to be different. Brighter.

A woman came into the room from behind the counter. She smiled at me. She had blonde hair. And eyes that would look good behind reading glasses. She was a bit small. But you would notice her presence immediately.

She greeted me. I tried to wave at her. I ended up just holding up my hand in confusion.

I walked towards the shelf where I had found the mythology books in.

"Can I help you?", she asked.

I didn't know.

"What happened to the old man who used to own this place?"

She seemed kind of startled.

"You haven't been here in a long time, haven't you?"

I nodded.

"He was my father. He died about four years ago."

Suddenly I asked myself how old she must be. That she was too old to just have taken over the shop. She must've most likely worked another job beforehand. Why did she not just give up the store then? Sell it?

"He taught me something nice", I told her, "that we don't decide what we want to read. The world does it for us. Something around the lines of that."

She smiled a melancholic happy smile. It motivated me to elaborate on my thoughts.