Unraveling My Mind

Chapter 4

What defines strength?
"The quality or state of being physically strong.
The capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure"

Those are the definitions, yes, but what makes a person strong? Any person can build there physical strength by working out and such, how do we become stronger mentally? Emotionally? Is it just with life we become stronger, or do we become weaker?
I don't feel strong, I feel weak, each thing happening taking a toll on me, slowly cracking at my walls and revealing the hollow holes underneath.
"Ami... please. You're not weak that's hard to do. To take care of someone even when things like that happen, to remember that isn't them and you still helped him. You're not weak please don't call yourself that"
He says.
"BITCH! YOU ARE NOT FUCKING WEAK! You have dealt with men looking and touching you, your step dad, your sister beating you, me beating you, your mom being dead beat, you have dealt with disturbing dreams you fight the demons in your mind EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. Along with putting up with my shit both normal and mental. And! You have stood and laughed the devil in his fucking face and tempted death. YOU CANNOT TELL ME YOU ARE FUCKING WEAK. COMPARED TO YOU I'M THE WEAK ONE! So, straighten up, shoulders back, and chin up your crown is slipping👑"
She says.

...are they really right? Am I strong? I mean these walls have somehow stayed standing, thats some strength. Or maybe, the foundation was just really strong, making it harder to chip away at, making me still stand with the little I have left.
I don't know what defines this kind of strength of thy, strength is not in my vocabulary.

So, when they say I'm strong how do they know? When they say I'm weak how do they know?
Maybe only life can determine my strength, maybe I am strong, maybe I am weak.
I feel that my legs will bow in weight, my shoulders will slump, my back will ache, but what's a little pain?
This brings me back to a quote I love from John Green "They say you need pain to enjoy the happy moments..... But when did broccoli change the taste of chocolate?"
It makes me wonder, what would the world be without pain? Would all be happy living it up without heartache? Would we have a genuine smile every day on our face? Would we appreciate the good moments the same?
I sure do wish I had no problems in life, that everything was fine, but the seasons change and so do moods and so does life.
Without pain, life might be better, and broccoli doesn't change the taste of chocolate when you have them hours, days, weeks apart but chocolate tastes better after minutes ago you ate broccoli.