His Hand in Mine

Chapter 13

As I sat in silence with my thoughts I began to cry. I kissed Mark... I kissed him back and I meant it. In a way I hoped he would, how he was holding me, looking at me, it was like old times a part of me deep down still had a strong attachment to him.

I realized what it must've looked like to Elvis... to turn around and see his girlfriend in another guy's arm kissing and who was also no less her ex and the one she had told him had been her first.

I continued to weep and started for the truck, Elvis would never leave his truck. I leaned against the hood sick to my stomach about what I had done to Elvis... what I was feeling was so confusing and awful.

I wiped my tears when suddenly I heard water plunking down atop the truck. I blinked and rain began to fall heavily. A few couple began to run to their cars giggling and laughing as they did so. I pulled at the handle hoping Elvis had left it unlocked, but I was in no such luck.

Cars drove by the sound of wet tires on pavement was a bit calming and distracting. As my eyes wondered my heart began to quicken. Elvis was making his way up to the sidewalk. His collar of his jacket pulled over his neck, his hands in his pockets... his shoes completey soaked from walking, he was rigid in his gait unlike the carefree way normally walked.

I could already feel the warmth of new tears as Elvis passed the parking lot and headed straight towards me. As soon as he was under the awning I went to give him a hug, my heart ached when he grabbed my arms and stopped me from doing so.

He then took his jacket from his shoulders and placed it over mine, just like the night he saved me. I looked up at him he was rolling his teeth over his swollen lip, his eyes though calmer than before still reasoned with anger.

I wasn't sure what to do... so I started towards the lot when he grabbed my arm and pushed me back in front of him. He looked at me a long moment and asked, "Why'd you kiss him?" I shook my head, "Elvis I dont know I-just..." He ran his hand angrily through his hair, Kristin that aint an answer, why'd you kiss that bastard?"

I tried to hop around my answer; so I screamed "Don't talk to me that way Elvis!" He glowered "Answer me now Kristin... why'd you kiss Mark...why didnt you smack him, push him away... something!"

I was silent just looking at him when suddenly he flung his fist into a pepsi advertisement hanging from the side of the hotel, the metal panged loudly as he shoved his fingers into his eyes trying to hold back his emotions.

I began to bawl taking his hand in mine clenching his busted fingers, "Elvis... I never wanted to hurt you..." I felt his fingers grasp mine comforting me slightly in the small act, but he immediatly unhinged them from mine walking away grasping for his keys in his pocket.

We were almost to the courts when suddenly Elvis took a strane turn. I looked ove at him, his face I couldn't read as he pulled into an empty lot. I looked around it was the lot just beyond the theater where we made love the first time.

I wasn't sure what was going on. He gently grasped my hand looking at me, pulling it slightly to signal me to come closer. I did as he motioned, he then allowed his hand to caress my cheek, his thumb running along the smeared mascara on my face. My mouth quivered as he gently pressed his lips onto mine.

His hand drifted to my shoulder his fingers playing with the strap of my dress. I kissed him back hard, it was strange our kisses... I tried my best as we deepened them, but something was missing.

We continued to kiss heatedly he held me against the passenger door I embraced him pulling at his shirt with my nails I was trying so hard... but it didn't feel the same. My breath hitched when his mouth separated from mine, his hand traveling up my legs.

I began to pull my dress up when he helped it along pushing it up to my waist exposing me. I watched as he began to undo his belt buckle. I then tugged at my panties pulling them down my legs. His pants halfway undone he went down to kiss me again. I wanted it to feel right so badly, but the feeling the emotion just wasn't sparking.

Slowly his kisses began to waver in intensity he separated from my mouth to look me in the eyes. Both our breaths were heavy and uneven when he whispered, "I cant Kristin... it don't feel right."

This was Elvis' way of testing us. I began to cry my heart was literally breaking in my chest, "Elvis kiss me, please kiss me." I stroked his cheek and I went to touch his lips again when he lifted himself off of me.

Elvis parked in front of my house, the lights were on in the living room. Aunt Brenda was up, I'm sure Sherrie had told her parents some terrible story and they called her to inform her I was out and about without her knowing.

Elvis was looking straight; more tears began to well in my eyes, I then shakily reached around my neck unclasping the chain that held his ring. I released it into my hand and asked, "Do you want your ring back?"

He looked at the small band in my palm. "Kristin keep it... I'll talk to you tomorrow morning after church okay..." I nodded, "I'm working at the diner at lunch time after work you can pick me up." He nodded, "Okay...night."

The thought of losing Elvis was overwhelming as I tip toed into the entryway. Immediatly I heard Aunt Brenda holler, "Young lady what in the world do you think you're doing? Sit your ass down on the couch now!!"

Aunt Brenda hollered, screamed, and even cried at one point for about an hour at me. When she was finallyfinished she rolled off my punishments, "You're grounded for 2 months young lady, no music, no phone and you're definetly not going to be seeing Elvis for a long damn time because I told his parents too, so its school and work that is it do you hear me?"

I nodded weakily,"Yes ma'am" she huffed shakily lighting a cigarette as she exhaled a cloud of smoke she coughed her voice hoarse, "Now go and get cleaned up, get into bed... we have church in the morning.'

All that night I cried and wept, cried and sobbed and then cried some more clutching a bear Elvis had won for me at the fair that summer. I cried till I could'nt cry no more and fell asleep clinging to the hope that Elvis still loved me.