changes

chapter 18.

WARNING: short mention of S/H at the end of chapter!!!
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͙⁺˚*･༓☾　
chapter 18
rule 18. it is good to try new things that you might benefit from
12pm in NYC
Kori's POV

"Your life is a movie." Samir said looking at me blank.

"I don't want it to be a movie. Things were better before I started going outside. I wanna be at home all the time again."

"Just don't run away again. Unless it's with me," he said making me smile.

"I won't."

"So you don't remember anything with Zair?"

"Nothing at all. I have no memory of anything and I'd like to keep it that way. But I mean I didn't wake up feeling hurt or whatever so I guess if something happened it wasn't too drastic. But I don't want to think about it."

"Did any of this running away stuff have to do with Aman?" I paused at that.

"Nope."

"You're a terrible liar. You thought I believed your whole act?"

"Look I'm working to forget m all those feelings for him as fast as I fucking can. Everytime I think about him I've started to work to distract myself or tell myself I don't like him. Because I don't want to like him anymore, I don't gain anything and I wanna get over whatever the fuck is wrong with me."

I probably have attachment issues to be honest. Is the the reason I vowed to never make friends? Because I genuinely don't remember what I exactly said when I decided not to make friends ever ever. But if it was the reason then it makes sense.

"What else distracts you?"

"Smokingggg and you."

"Me?"

"You sound surprised."

"I thought you didn't see me like that foreal. And because of this stuff we were finna go back to friends friends."

"No no no never that. I don't care about whatever stupid old atttachments I have for Aman. I still really really very much like you, and would very much like to be in a relationship with you soon."

"But I'm not enough to make you forget-"

"You're more than enough. And simply sitting her at lunch with you gets me through the day and keeps me in a better mindset while I'm here and at home. But I tend to overthink and go backwards a lot. It's genuinely not your fault." I said grabbing his hands as he sat across the table from me.

"And I need you to understand that it's really not your fault."

"You be giving me advice like your life isn't falling apart," he said making us both fall out.

I'm a firm believer in "Do as I say, not as I do."

"I told my parents I'm joining the yoga club here at school." He scrunched his face at me when I said that.

"That's surprising but maybe it will be good for you."

"Are you saying that I'm ill and need help?!?!?!"