changes

chapter 86.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　
chapter 86.
rule 86. for what's money without happiness? or hard times without the people you love?
1pm in Philly
Samir's POV

"Hospital part twoooo, I'm so excited for you to see the baby," Kori said as we walked around the block.

It was day 2 in Philly. I still wasn't feeling my best, but I was definetely better than I was yesterday.

Melissa had me on strict supervision all of yesterday. She monitored what I ate, how long I slept for, if I felt like I was gonna have another panic attack, allat.

It was nice to kind of relax without distractions.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ flashback ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

"So what did he say Samir?" Kori's mom asked me as I laid on the couch. Jamely and Jalen had tired themselves out. Jamely was sprawled on the couch and Jalen fell asleep under the living room table.

"It was a lot."

"You're gonna have to tell me." She said and I took a breath.

"He was talking about how he's mad that I went to Philly without telling him. But my aunt told him. And then he was going on saying that he wished I stayed gone forever and that I've ruined this marriage for him because of the way I don't treat Yadira like my mom. And about how I'm a bad kid for staying locked up in my room and not coming outside to interact with him. But he is drugged up and drunk half the time. And then he threatened to kick me out the house. And then he threatened to-to." I took a second to gather my words. "He threatened to do what he did last year if I didn't come home yesterday and just recounting on what happened last time like it was funny."

"And then I believed him and I called my aunt and then I had a panic attack and thought I was gonna die. But I'm alive so yeah."

"With all disrespect, I strongly strongly dislike Salem." She said making me laugh. "Ain't no reason he told you that he was going to kill himself if you didn't come home. That man is absolutely just crazy."

"It is what it is." I shrugged.

"It's not though Samir. You shouldn't have to hear that and you shouldn't have to deal with that. That is a grown man trying to manipulate his child for his own agenda! And you shouldn't believe anything he says. Because you're not at fault for any of that. You didn't cause your mom's death, the people in the other car did. You didn't cause him to go into alcohol addiction he chose that as his crutch. You didn't ruin his marriage with Yadira, he did that himself when he decided to be with someone when he wasn't actively healing. You aren't the reason why he has made his attempts Samir, those are based on his personal feelings and struggles. You're not the cause of your fathers actions."

"The only way you were the cause of your fathers actions is when you were created because he decided to do what he did okay? Okay." She said I laughed a bit.

"I know I'm not at fault, but when you've been told so many times that things are your fault it gets harder to separate those lies the truth. All the bad things that he has done have affected me. But he's just too blind to see that and try to make amends. And I just have to sit and accept that and keep it pushing. Because some things just never change. Now matter how much you want them too they never do and never will."

"You can accept the situation but you're still entitled to feel the way you do Samir. As much as it hurts to have someone you love not want to change for the better of themselves or you, you just have to accept and continue with your life. You can't put all your hope in faith into someone who has repeatedly shown you their true colors Samir."