Reckless

Chapter 11

I sit in my chair afraid to move. My nose itches so I swipe it and quickly put my hand in my lap to avoid any backlash from Eric. He'd been yelling at myself and Jeremy for almost an hour now about not going to him with our relationship. Eric sighs and leans his hands on the table and shakes his head.

            "What do you plan on doing about the baby?" He asks quietly.

            I tense up and before I could say anything Jeremy interrupts. "Keep it. Raise it." He looks at me. "I don't believe that it was Cam's. So if you think by saying that I'm going to step away, you thought wrong."

            Eric looks at me and opens his mouth to say something but I interrupt. "I terminated the pregnancy." I blurt out. Jeremy's head snaps back to me and Eric stares in disbelief.

            "You what?" Jeremy snaps.

            I look at my lap. "I'm not ready for a child, Jeremy." I snap back at him. "I was only five weeks, so yes it was Cam's baby. It was my decision to terminate the pregnancy."

            "What about Cam? Don't you think he deserves to know? He could have been a father, Lexi, and you took that away from him."

            "He beat the shit out of me, Jeremy. He abused me. You really think I want to be tied down in any way to him? The last thing I need on my plate is the fear that he is not only going to harm me, but a child? I could never put an innocent baby through anything like that. No, he doesn't deserve to know. Stop acting like it's a big deal." I fold my arms over my chest.

            "It is a big deal, Alexis." He snaps back. "What if that child was mine? You terminated before we even got the chance to find out. We could have had paternity tests done, and we could have worked something out."

            "No, we couldn't have, Jeremy because it wasn't your child! Why are you so hell bent on me having this baby?"

            "Because I love you and the thought of having a family with you makes me happy. Is that really such a bad thing?" He yells.

            I clench my jaw shut. Through the corner of my eyes, I see Eric stand up straight, one hand on his hip the other running through his salt and pepper hair. I have to take a minute to process this. Jeremy just told me he loves me. But he hurt me. All the feelings of the past flood back and I remember why I wanted to avoid him when I first started here. He was a bully, but he cared about me. He broke me down, but built me back up. He made love to me. He lied to me.

            I lick my lips and turn away from him. "Did you think you would ever love the girl you once made fun of?" I ask silently. I can feel the tension emanating off Jeremy. "The girl you once tortured, and made fun of, you now confess your love. Did you love me when you lied about Valerie?"

            "Lex-"

            "Did you love me, when you lied about Valerie?" I enunciated each word.

            "Yes."

            I scoff and stand up straight. "I'm not the girl that you can just put egg salad in her shoes and hot dogs in her trumpet anymore. I am a lawyer, I am a success, and god dammit I am a woman. You don't love me, Jeremy. You pity me. You feel bad for all the bullying, the name calling the torturing-"

            "What is she talking about, Jeremy?" Eric asks.

            "So you try to make it up to me by telling me that you love me, that you want a family with me. Do us all a favor, and stop pretending that you have changed, that you care. The harsh reality is that you are still the same person that you were in high school. A pathetic asshole with no regards to anyone's feelings but his own."