Plot: Eddie got back from visiting his parents, a week later and the conversation still won't leave him.
"You're pathetic! How useless of a son do you have to be to not go through not one wife but almost two!"
Buck turns up at the right time and holds Eddie through the break down, something refreshing for both of them.
Some things are said and Eddie comes to terms with things bucks already checked in for ages ago.
"You're pathetic! How useless of a son do you have to be to go through not one wife but almost two!"
The argument had been replaying in his head as he picked up Chris from school. He couldn't shake it, it crushed him.
"Dad?"
"Yeah buddy?" Looking in the mirror, his wide caring eyes shone back to him.
"You okay?"
"Yeah." No, I'm not.
The drive back home was silent as the sound of rain outside the car grew stronger and harder, pulling into the driveway. The familiar Jeep was sitting in the street, familiar figure sitting on the porch stairs. His heart heaved.
Getting out, he saw buck immediately rush over and get Chris out, helping him avoid the slippery puddles as they waddled to the front door. Running in behind them, he sniffled as he opened the front door.
The warmth immediately engulfing the three of them as they took off their shoes, Chris giggling with buck as they talked about school. He really wanted to listen and laugh with them but he couldn't bring himself to even smile, everything just hurt.
"Hey buddy. Why don't you go have a shower and get ready dinner? I've gotta talk to your dad."
"Okay Bucky."
He didn't realise the couch dipped beside him, a hand landing on his shoulder.
"Eds?"
Turning at the sound of his name, he met blue eyes and it hit him like a ton of bricks.
"I'm useless. I've been skating around the idea of Chris being motherless for a while but I thought eventually, me and Ana, we'd be it, final." Wiping his eyes, bucks hands tensed around his shoulder as he cried, something, unfamiliar to both parties but comforting at the same time. "My parents really drove home that fact, I'm not worthy of love or happiness. It's just not for me."
"Eds.."
"No it's true. I thought I could make it work with Shannon even all these years later and she fucking died, in my arms. Then Ana, god, she was perfect, she would've been even more perfect if I could just love her back. I would've had another parental figure for Chris and I wouldn't feel so hopeless and lonely all the time."
Dropping his head, he heard buck clear his throat and felt hands grabbing his cheeks. Turning him back to face the man, who was shaking his head and wiping away the tears.
"No, Eddie Diaz. You are not useless. There is nothing more painful then falling apart, but it's a part of life and you learn to grow with it. It makes you a better person, a better father, a better human. And you, you Eddie Diaz. Are the best person I've ever met."
His throat caught itself and he choked on another sob at the raw emotion and words.
"I will love you either way. It'll be okay, you will always have me, and Chris, the 118, we are your family. We may not be all blood, we may be far off from the ideal family but we are and I love- we love you."
Cutting himself short, he watched as Eddie's bottom lip quivered, a small nod. Smiling back at him, he looked down and then away, hands slowly sliding off his face.
"Evan-"
"Hey dad, can we have bucks special pasta for dinner?"
They both jumped apart at the interruption, Chris standing oblivious in the doorway. Eddie cleared his throat as Buck got up, the couch suddenly feeling to empty, his spot. It was all his spot, this whole place, it was his.
"Yeah buddy, we have all the stuff here so if you get ready and do your hair, you can help me boil the pasta and make the sauce."
Looking up at buck, who was smiling brightly down at his son, his heart swelled with love as he watched the interaction. Chris agreeing almost immediately and scampering off.
"Guess we're having pasta for dinner."
He laughed, walking away before Eddie could open his mouth. Although that wouldn't cut it, walking through the living room, he rounded the corner and saw buck rifling through the many assortments of pasta. It felt like déjà vu, something he wouldn't ever get sick of.
"Hey man you've really gotta start buying angel pasta, we only have like-"
Cutting him off, he grabbed the pasta box out of his hand and crowded him against the kitchen counter, bucks eyes opening with surprise.
"Uh..hi?" His voice sounded hoarse and desperate as his eyes drifted from the pasta box to Eddie and then to his lips and snapping back up.
"Eddie?"
The man just stood there, looking, admiring the taller one. Eyes filled with love as he watched buck untense.
"You okay?"
"I love you." He whispered, throat closing on itself as he watched bucks reaction. The faint glimmer in his eyes growing stronger.
"Oh thank god." He heard before their lips collided, meeting each other halfway as buck moaned softly between them. Hands running up his sides and landing on his face, holding him.
"Yeah! My dads are kissing, Denny owes me ten bucks!"
Pulling away, they both turn a dark red as Chris sits up on the island seats.
Grabbing the laid aside pasta box, buck sends Eddie a small wink to which he snorts as Chris watches from the side.
"We will talk later."
He whispered.
"Now come on superman, let's make pasta."
