𝘽𝙚𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙒𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙙

Chapter Thirty Four • Lesson Learned

𝙅𝙖𝙭'𝙨 𝙋𝙤𝙫

"Baby." A voice whispers in my ear. "Baby wake up."

I slowly open my eyes, the sunlight causing me to shut them again. The beautiful woman next to me giggling at my actions. I slowly open my eyes again, pulling her body on top of mine.

Luna leans down and gives me a quick kiss before pulling back with the biggest smile.

"Happy Birthday baby."

She remembered.

A huge grin covers my face as I pull her head to my chest, leaving multiple kisses against her head.

"Thank you." I speak, my voice still groggy from sleeping.

"What do you wanna do today, birthday boy?" She asks, laying her chin on my chest, looking at me. "Birthday sex?" She says, wiggling her eyebrows.

"No, no birthday sex. But, I would like to talk about what happened the other day in the shower." I say playing with her hair.

Her body tenses against mine, immediately sitting up, me following her actions.

"It's your birthday Jax, we shouldn't be talking about this today." She says, trying to get out of bed.

I grab her waist, hoisting her over so her body is straddling mine.

"But I want to talk about it, we need to talk about it."

She lets out a defeated sigh, her body relaxing against mine. She looks down at her lap as she plays with her fingers.

"For starters, what's been going on with you lately. You've been acting differently, doing things you don't normally do, saying things you don't normally say." I ask as my hands rub her thighs hoping to calm her down a bit.

"Everything is just too much, this whole thing is just suffocating me. It's like my mind won't shut off, all I can think about is Kyle and everything he's ever done and said to me. It's like his voice is in my head telling me over and over again that we're not gonna make it out of this, that I'm not going to make it out of this."

I use my fingers to gently grip her chin as I tilt her head up so her eyes meet mine.

"And what happened in the shower? Was that you or him talking?" I ask gently.

"I don't know, honestly." She says, biting her lip. "I-I like it when you spank me and degrade me but I just..."

My heart sinks.

I knew I shouldn't have done it.

"I didn't hate it, and I'm not mad at you for doing it, okay. I need you to know that, this isn't your fault. But I feel like all the thoughts about Kyle lately made me think of that time in my life, made me feel as if I deserved it in some weird way. It was if my body was craving the feeling of it-fuck I don't know." She says, shaking her head.

Tears make their way into my eyes as I gently place her next to me before moving to sit on the edge of the bed, my head falling down into my hands.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper defeatedly.

"Jax you didn't do anything wro-"