Taking over the Abyss

24- It's Free Real Estate

You and Aether rejoined the other three fairly quickly, Leiptr ceasing his reluctant conversation with Paimon the second you returned. Paimon didn't offended in the slightest, rather, she seemed happy that he stopped talking, floating over to Aether and yawning.

"Phew! Paimon's pooped," she complained, yawning again, although this one seemed more for dramatic flair, "That guy can sure talk a lot about uninteresting things!"

"Was my assumption of you being a food-obsessed simpleton wrong?" Leiptr muttered, more concerned over his assessment abilities rather than his ability to entertain Paimon.

Paimon took offense to that, "Hey! Paimon's not a food-obsessed simpleton! It's true that Paimon loves eating food, but that doesn't mean listening to some weird, grumpy guy ramble about all the different ways to prepare a crab is interesting!"

"What?" Leiptr scoffed, "The fault is not my own. It's not my problem you lack the ability to listen when people offer their knowledge to you."

"Yeah, well who in their right mind would wanna listen to only recipes about crabs?!" Paimon cried, "And you didn't even mention crab roe! Not once! Paimon had to listen to twenty four recipes, and not one of them talked about crab roe!"

"... crab roe? What in Abyss is that?" Leiptr looked genuinely confused, which shocked you, given he apparently had at least twenty four crab-related recipes. He looked to you for help, "Milady, do know of what tomfoolery they speak? No, forgive me, I mustn't assume such a thing, it'd be demeaning to you. There is no such thing."

Despite the shock of learning what some of his sister had been up to, Aether regained his energy through sheer confusion, "... what? What are you on about? Crab roe is real."

You weren't sure what to make of this situation. Leiptr scowled at the two, "Fine then. If this 'crab roe' is real, then show it to me."

Should you step in? It was a little amusing. You needed a little clownery, especially from your usually serious servant. Aether pulled out his bag and searched through it, finding a bottle of what he was looking for with relative ease and a little 'aha!'. He pulled out the vial of crab roe, Leiptr leaning down so he could get a better look, one of his hands raised to his chin.

As Aether showed the contents of the vial to Leiptr, the taller man reeled back in disgust, "Ghhk, what is that disgusting thing?!"

"That's... that's crab roe," Paimon sounded suspiciously happy, probably thinking she was no longer the stupidest person around.

Leiptr glared at the bottle, sharp teeth poking out from his lips in sheer disgust as he took the new information in. After a moment, his expression calmed. Then, he began to laugh. In a really, really villainous way. It started quietly, a deep, rumbling laughter from his chest before his expression turned into something terrifyingly evil, his laughter very obviously frightening Paimon as she scurried to hide behind Aether's head.

Eyes wide with fury and sharp teeth on display, Leiptr glared at the vial, "Yes, I understand! You thought you could fool me with such a trick?! Laughable! What a pathetic worm you are- I know deep within myself that crabs could never produce something so revolting!"

Aether looked to you for help, unable and unwilling to break it to Leiptr. You sighed and approached him, your butler's expression calming into a smile as he nodded gently at you, the anger dropped out of his voice in place of passive-aggressive pleasantry, "Milady, please tell them they are stupid and in desperate need of professional help. I worry, for your sake of course, that being around these fools is more trouble than its worth."

You put your hand on his shoulder, gently. Reassuringly. "Leiptr... I'm sorry."

"What? You have nothing to be sorry for, milady, do not apologize for their stupidity, it is not something that can be so easily fixed," his eyebrows slanted in worry. Leiptr turned to you, reaching up but not wanting to touch you for fear of disgracing you with his hands, "Please, do not waste your time comforting this humble servant of yours, truly, you have done no wrong."