Mrs. Winter and Mr. Summer

12. Emotional disability

What is emotional disability? When you are so fucked up that you don't feel anything or maybe when you have a void in your chest and nothing can fill it. A dead man walking alive, literally. I'm afraid of what can happen when I get there. I don't want to be a wreck of anger, hatred, fear that I will never be able to love again. ? There is no philosophy. It doesn't matter to you. You wish and wait for death. While you wait for that, you fill life with unimportant things and all our pleasure is actually an illusion. there was also something fleeting. I miss feelings, that fulfillment, sincere happiness. I am waiting for better mornings, better tomorrow. If I do everything right today, be kind, thank you, ask for something. Will it make me feel better, probably not. Worth a try. I'm confused by how I feel, everything seems right to me, there is no wrong choice at this point if it will make me feel anything.I argue with everyone, I argue with her, I argue with you.After all you have only yourself.I pray for eternity and that risk makes sense.And I keep getting used to having laws and not to bond. But loneliness is the only sure thing. You always have it, and you only have it. At least in my case. I don't know what real friends are, boyfriend, father, sister, love in the true sense. Is it possible to be that old me? Ever more. Is it possible to love so sincerely? Without any hidden motives? I have heard people say that the one who loves and the one who is loved is rich, and I am obviously poor. I'm used to them always leaving, never me. I will stop you only once, and ask if you are sure, whether it is my famous one, be careful or something like that. It is quiet in my head, but demons appear when night falls.