Under My Skin

~ Chapter Nine ~

"6 minutes of silence."

Kieran's POV -

Here she was. On her knees for the wrong reason. Tears trailing down her eyes, her nose running. She looked terrible. Like she had just lost her only reason for existence.

And then she stood up using the wall for support as she looked around the room at us. I couldn't tell if she was laughing or crying but at one point it sounded as if it were both. Then she finally looked at me. She smiled at me, laughing over and over.

"Ember, it's okay." Mrs. Malfoy tried to comfort her. She wrapped her arms around Embers figure, immediately being pushed away. "Okay?" Ember questioned her. "It's okay? This is okay?" She heightened her voice. "None of this is fucking okay!" She screamed.

Silence.

It was silent after that.

Nobody dared to speak. "Someone take me home." Her voice cracked. "Ember, you need to be around your friends and family right now...not alone." Mister Nott told her. "Take me home!" She yelled. Her neck strained as she did.

"As your godfather I'm telling you no!" My dad countered back. He was Embers godfather but he never acted like it. I knew he cared for her but at this moment she would've done it said anything to get away from us.

"I'll take you home." I let out before she could ruin my dads day even more. "Someone call the ministry." I demanded before leading Ember from the house back into the van.

It took 6 minutes of silence to get her back to her father mansion.

"Let me go in with you." I jumped out of the van before she could respond. Moments later we were standing at her door as she struggled to open it. When she did, we were surrounded by pictures of her father and mother.

I thought she would break down again but she didn't. She walked up the steps with no emotion. I followed her up the steps until she went into her room. I stood at the entrance, the door shutting in my face.

I stayed at her door for hours. Making sure she was still alive and okay from the outside. My ear staying pressed to the wood door. I was sat on the floor when I heard footsteps. The door opened, she was staring down at me. I got up towering over her sad, broken, and weary body.

Her hands went to my hair and her lips went to mine. She pulled me into her room never separating our lips. I kept my grip on her pulling my face away. "Ember- Ember wait! Stop for a minute!" When she opened her eyes to look back  at me her cheeks were wet. Salty tears running down her reddened cheeks.

"Please..." she begged. "Please..." she repeated fresh tears coming from her tear ducts. "Okay." I agreed taking her lips on mine again.

She backed up to her bed taking me along with her. My chest pressed to hers. Seconds later she was stripped from her shirt and shorts. My shirt was lying on the floor next to the bed. Clothes going in every direction landing on the floor.

One minute we were kissing and another she was pleading with me to go further. "Ember I don't think we should." I admitted. "Just make it go away! Just make it stop." She cried out her nails digging into my skin as she shoved her face into the crook of my neck.

I entered inside of her. She never made a sound other then her soft cries. I stopped multiple times knowing we weren't in the right mindsets for this. But everytime she urged me to keep going.

"Em I can't save us from this." I whispered my eyes tearing up at her desperate state. "Tell me why this has to end." She finally stopped her sobs. "Because you aren't okay." She hated that.

"It's either you who helps me or some other guy I find." I know I should've stopped. But I didn't. I heard something other than a cry from her and I kept going. An hour later we finished whatever this desperate act was.

She put on my shirt lying in her bed. She wasn't crying anymore. She just stared at the ceiling. "I'll sleep on the couch." I reassured her.

"Go home." She ordered. "Em..." she didn't look over at me. "Go home." Her tone was stern but still weak. I took my jacket from the ground putting it over my chest and left her room.

It took everything in me not to turn around and stay with her. The car engine started up and I left. I left her in her house.

Alone.

All alone knowing her father was never coming home to her.

All alone knowing she didn't have a mother or a father anymore.

All alone with nobody.

I got back to the house the ministry standing in front of the door when I parked. Everybody turned to look at me. "Is she still upset? We need to ask her a few questions." Dolores Umbridge stepped in my way.

"What the fuck do you think?" I spat at her. I shoved past her entering my house. The carpet was blood stained but Blaise was gone. Reality set in after I finally saw he was actually gone.

"Kieran, we need to talk." My father told me from his office door. I went over to his office sitting in a chair. "I told you no more tattoos." He broke the silence. I scoffed in response.

"Would you rather me become a deatheater like you did?" I countered back to him. He didn't say anything. "You didn't." His eyes widened. "I did." I admitted. He resulted to mind reading instead of just asking me.

"Kieran she isn't in the right mindset!" He stood from his chair knocking it over. "Don't you think I know that!" I threw myself from my seat, face to face with my father.

"She begged me! She was sobbing...telling me to make the pain go away! I didn't know what to do dad! I don't know what to do to help her, because there's nothing I can do!" I ranted on.

I was now on the verge of tears. "I can't help her..." my voice broke. My father threw his arms around me pulling my head to his shoulder. I weakly hugged him back, tightening my grip as I let the tears fall.

I couldn't help her this time.

One because she wouldn't let me.

Two because I didn't know what to do.

Three because there was nothing I could do.