Twisted

Chapter 30: No way out in a long way down

Enjoy this cute gif of fetus harry. 

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Three more days have passed by with overthinking and cursing myself at every possible situation. Harry hadn't made the big move that he said he'd planned and I can't say I'm not disappointed. He's been weirdly quiet and distant lately and you know what's even more surprising? He hasn't touched any alcohol-related substance and took his tablets on time and studied.

Yes, you heard me right, he studied. I mean, he opened his book and solved the problems and read the theory; I'm not talking about opening the book and staring at it for five minutes while day-dreaming about Dylan O'Brien and stalking him on Instagram 5 minutes later. I mean legit studying. He even asked me some doubts he had in chemistry and geography.

So, that was surprising. 

He hadn't attempted any small talk and kept to himself. I tried not to think about it much but that was impossible. Did I do something? 

The last time we actually talked about something un-related to school had been on the day he played me the song he wrote...about me. But that conversation didn't go wrong at any point, in fact it has made this over-burdening responsibility and realization that I have feeling for two people and have to ultimately choose one of them before I loose them both, even harder.

Right now I'm in Zayn's car, looking out of the window with my arms crossed on the door and laying my head on them, thinking, while Zayn kept his gaze firmly fixed on the road in front while driving the car. 

We didn't speak properly form the day he dropped me off at Harry's house when he got discharged. He didn't bother me at all and questioned about me avoiding him like how I expected him to, but rather gave me some space to breathe and figure things out. 

He was perfect in more ways than one, and every minute I spend with him reminds me he deserves someone better than me. I haven't yet told him about the kiss Harry and I shared, but every passing minute the guilt is getting more and more unbearable. I know I have to talk to him and tell him the truth sometime but I'm not ready to have the chat. Not yet.

But the more I drag the dreadful conversation, the more painful it will become on the day it is done. I don't want him to feel like he's been played but the more I think about it the more it feels like it. 

"Clara?" Zayn's voice is heard above the soft music playing on the radio. 

"huh?" 

"Clara! We're here." I looked around and saw we were in front of Harry's flat. 

I turned my head to look at him and smiled softly. "Thank you for dropping me."

"No problem," he managed a faint smile and I got out and closed the door behind me. 

"Clara?" he spoke again. "Yeah?" I bent my face down to look at him through the window. "Don't think too much about anything. Today's the last day you are staying with him. We'll talk later, just don't be too hard on yourself and uh, be careful" 

I nodded my head, "I will," and I watched the car disappearing out of my line of sight in seconds and I sighed loudly. This is indeed my last day staying at Harry's house"

Heading inside, I dropped my bag and went into the kitchen to drink some water when I thought I heard something. Harry is home...right? I grabbed the closest thing I could find which was a mop and held it like a stick ready to bead the shit out of someone who might be a potential burglar. 

I slowly took few steps towards the noise and found myself  in front Harry's room. I heard someone yelling and inch closer to the door o figure out what the person was saying.