Ji woke up to Changbin making breakfast, because apparently some time in the night both Jisung and Jeongin fell asleep.
- Hey, can you make me one? - Jisung asked when he saw Changbin making pancakes.
- Only because you are sad - Bin said while handing him the breakfast he made for himself - next time you eat of the floor tho - that caused Jisung to laugh shortly. God, he needed that, even a small and meaningless laugh was enough to make him feel slightly better.
It didn't take long for Jeongin to wake up too. In a few minutes they had to go to University, so they had to get ready. Jisung was dreading the moment he got there because he didn't want to even see Minho's silhouette. How he wished he didn't exist. On the bright side, that day was the day he finished one of the most difficult classes he had. At least one good thing was happening to him among all this pain.
The first person he saw was Hyunjin who came to him happily, this was a good day for him and that made Jisung smile. The good days where rare, but not as much as they used to be. Except for their classes, they spent the whole day together. At lunch they where outside, far from the rest of the students because Jisung feared crossing paths with Min. They talked about how Ji was feeling and how Hyunjin was dealing with his guilt. They talked so much that they didn't realize they missed their last class that day. But it didn't matter, they needed this moment. A second to themselves.
- Jinnie guilt is a good thing. - Jisung said with endearing looking eyes.
- It's eating me alive. - he answered feeling hopeless.
- Guilt is a good thing, it's what helps us move on and be better. But it can slow you down and make you feel miserable if you let it. Feeling guilty is what makes us human, emotions aren't there to torture us, they are there to help us live, but if we don't know how to handle them we suffer. Use your guilt Jin, use it to be better and don't let it fill you with regret. You did what you had to, now make sure your pain wasn't for nothing. You need to work as hard as you can to move on and all of us will help you get there. - Jisung said, with a sad smile, because he couldn't find it in himself to pretend to be hopeful, his heart was broken along with some of his dreams. Still, he relied on his friend to be there in the dark moments such as the ones they where living and the future happy ones, which they wished would come sooner.
They started walking slowly towards the front door while chatting about nothing in particular. Just filling the void with their voices. Being normal, feeling normal as well.
Jisung could see Chris waiting by a car alone, probably waiting for Minho. He was smoking, he found it funny that even though Jeongin wasn't even there he could hear already his voice saying how hot he looked in his head. He agreed, even if Chris wasn't his type. Of course thinking about Chris always led to his roommate, but if Jisung was being totally honest, every thought and everything always led to Minho.
It was the end of the day and almost all the students where leaving the premises, so it made a lot of sense that Minho was able to find Jisung among all of them. How he wished he could disappear. But he understood that there were things left unsaid and maybe one last conversation would be good for them, mostly because they shared a lot of friends and this wouldn't be the last time they met.
- Hey Jisung, can I talk to you for a sec? - Minho asked feeling small, feeling insignificant. Wanting nothing but the guy he loved back with him.
Jisung nodded, so they walked to a more secluded area. He felt he was about to cry by just being next to him. How he wanted to hug him and desapear between his arms. How he wished all of the past to go away and leave them only with their love. They both knew their love didn't go anywhere. Sadly for one and hopefully for the other.
They stopped near one of the classrooms that were empty and looked at each other awkwardly. They both wanted the same thing, but they both knew their lips wouldn't touch again in a long while.
- Jisung I'll always be here, - Minho started talking with a broken voice and a face full of regret - I don't care how long I'll have to wait for your forgiveness, I know you are the person I'm supposed to grow old with. I'll always wait for you to be ready. - Minho said while silently crying - I'm sorry for the things I did and the way I acted, I wasn't good enough for you but I'll be better and no amount of pain will make me do the things I did to you again.
- You always were good enough, not believing it was what made you act like an asshole. I can't promise I'll ever want you back again, I can't promise I'll stop resenting you any time soon. - Jisung wanted to break, but he needed to be strong this one time or else he wouldn't be able to stand his ground - This happened because you weren't happy with your life and the person you had become, so I can promise you that if you ever feel like yourself again and I ever forgive you, I'll give you another chance. But don't wait for me, live your life and just hope, like I will, to meet each other again in the right time. - the eye contact became unbearable, so Jisung had to turn around and start walking away - But till then, it's a goodbye.
Josung left, knowing very well behind him Minho was crying. Every step felt impossible and too painful to handle. But he managed, he was proud of himself because of it.
Not too far from there he met Changbin at the door, who was waiting for him. Alone. Which was a surprise, giving the fact that him and Jeongin where never apart.
Before Ji got to ask where Jeongin was, Bin grabbed him by his shoulders and started to walk to a car he didn't recognize. On the driver's seat he saw a young girl with dark hair and glasses. She smiled at him shyly and opened the back door for him to get in.
- This is Christine, she is my girl and she is taking you home. - Bin said, shocking Jisung a little because he didn't know he had a girlfriend, but he didn't have time to say anything or ask questions because Changbin kept on talking - when we get you home, you are going to take a nap or something, rest, because at 9 we are picking you up to go have dinner and then drinks and then dance. We are getting you a new guy who isn't a dipshit - when Bin saw Jisung's sad expression he added - or maybe just a one night stand, it doesn't matter, you are having fun, because I say so.
Not far, on another car, was Jeongin sitting next to the guy who stole his heart, next to the guy who broke it but also wanted to put back together. The guy who, no matter where they were or how long has it been, would always look at him with love in his eyes. The guy who feared commitment, but was willing to commit to him forever. He was sitting next to who he thought was the love of his life, his one true partner, Christopher Bang Chan.
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Up To Scratch
Fanfiction- Jeongin, you should think it through. - What's there to think? Im really tired of guys my age, they aren't really interesting and the moment they see Changbin, they run away. It's no fun rebelling like that. Deep in thought, he was trying to come...
