Ryan {Completed}

32:Lions, Tigers, & Bears! Oh My!

Chapter 32

Lions, Tigers, & Bears! Oh My!

****long and intense chapter****

I woke up to my glee playlist quietly playing in the background with the bright golden sun rays were flooding in the room like water flooding in and taking over a space. the birds were chirping and the world was at peace until I remember what happened after the football game last night.

{~•~FLASHBACK~•~}

I unlock the car and rush into it. I cry and pull my keys out, struggling to put them into the ignition. I finally start the car and drive home the tears flowing.

I need Austin in my life, I think, I can't just not have him there. his my first love. the man that has set a standard of how guys should treat me from now on in my life. he has taught me how to love and to lean on someone again. he has made me better. I can't let him go.. call me selfish but I can't. he's mine and that's not going to change for as long as I get a day in it.

I start to get mad so I start driving to an old abandoned construction zone. I used to go here all the time to relive stress. the site was for a clothing store so there's tons of walls put up and everything. and when I get very annoyed or pissed off when I was younger I bought a set of golf clubs and I use the to hit the walls. it helps me get all my anger out according to the guidance councilor at school. yes I see the guidance councilor because of my family's death.

anyway I get there and pull out the clubs where I had always kept them. I start hitting and yelling.

"I AM NOT LEAVING HIM!!!! I AM NOT LEAVING MY LOVE!!! I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH FOR MY OWN GOOD!!! HE IS MORE THAN I COULD ASK FOR! HE TREATS ME LIKE I AM A QUEEN AND HE LOVES ME PURELY AND UNCONDITIONALLY!!!!!!!! HE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME-NO HE IS MY WORLD AND THAT BOY IS MY ONE AND ONLY!!!!!!" I scream.

"that's quite the show," I hear a voice say, I turn around to see Austin and relief washes over me and I rush to hug him, "who was that about?"

"no, no it was about you," I say smiling at the ground.

"oh okay good," he says smiling his perfect smile at me.

"how did you find me?"

"I followed you home, I knew you were upset and I needed to make sure there wasn't anything I could do to help... and I needed to know you where save... the reason I always text you goodnight and good morning is because I want to know you're happy and safe before I can go to bed," he says.

"ya know I really love you more than I could ever love anyone else ever?" I touch my nose to his with my forehead to his also,"but there's something I need to tell you," I say my smile falling.

"okay what is it?" he says.

I pull him to the back of his truck and there with me on his lap and tears flowing continuously. I told someone out loud, that didn't already know, about my family's death.

{~•~END OF FLASHBACK~•}

once I remembered what Austin said after my long tale, brought instant comfort to me.

"I am so glad you told me now I can make you feel better and carry you through whatever you need. you have so brave... you have truly showed me all of you and just be meeting you I can tell that that is hard for you to do. and I love you so much and that's never going to change and I will always keep you safe even if it's the last thing I do," he had said.

I smile at the memory and get up. I check my phone and remember that today is the carnival date that she has been looking forward to. I decide that I am going to finish my history project so I don't change from the spankx and Austin's t-shirt. I throw on my glasses, Jesus sandals, and a pair of sweat pants. I get my backpack, phone, purse, and keys and I head out the door.