ReaderxCamilo//Arranged

Twenty

I cover my face and cry. I don't want to be here anymore, I want to go home. I feel arms around me and I lean on them.

"It's okay Hermana, let it out" Mateo strokes my hair and I cry into his shoulder.

"I wanna go home" I cry.

"I know" He mururms I wrap my arms around his waist and he kisses my hair. "Let it out, you're safe here" He rubs my back and holds me while I cry. All the built up emotions, fear, helplessness, anger comes out. I pull away
"I'm sorry" I wipe my nose
"Don't be. This is a shity position you're in. I wish it was me" He holds my hand tightly. I laugh
"You mean the world to me and it hurts to see you unhappy. Yes, sometimes you are happy but recently I've seen you more stressed and scared then anything" I smile slightly

"I just thought my life would be different, I thought I would get to travel. Choose who I married and settle down at home"

"Are you not coming back?" he asks and I look at the house

"Camilo doesn't want to. He's made it very clear that he wants to live here" I mutter
"That ass. He hasn't even been at our home. He may love it, tell him to at least see it."
"I don't want a fight, I don't want Bruno's bad vision to come true"

"So you're going to do whatever he wants for the sake of a happy marriage? That will only make him happy and I want you to be happy" Mateo says and hugs me.

I hate when he's right, which is more often than I'd like to admit.

"You deserve to be happy. Come in soon, you're going to freeze. Love you" He walks out
"Love you too" I lay on the grass and cover my face. I let out a shaky breath. I must've drifted off because I wake up to sun. I sit up and rub my eyes I can feel that they're puffy. I get up and walk into Camilo's room. He's in the bathroom. I pull on a white tank top and a sun yellow skirt that stops at my calves with duller lightening bolts around the bottom. I slide on my shoes and Camilo walks out

"Morning" He says and I stand up
"Morning" I brush my hair, we're silent.
"Where did you go?" He asks
"I went outside" I put my hair in two braids
"You slept outside?" He asks shocked
"Yeah" I throw the brush in my case. I take a breath and turn to walk out. I see my cousins and Tio at the door. I hug Danny and he frowns at me. I reassure him in my head. I hug Leo and Miguel tightly. Anthony looks sad and uneasy at me.
"Are you sure you'll be okay? Be happy?" I press my lips in a line, he heard which means Dolores heard.

"I'll be fine" I kiss his cheek, he doesn't look convinced. I hug Tio and he kisses my cheek
"One letter, I'll be here within a minuet" He says and I smile slightly
"I know Tio"
"Love you kid" They walk out and I blink away tears. We go to the table and eat breakfast table. Dolores looks at me sadly, I avoid her eyes.

"So have you two deiced where you're staying?" Alma asks
"We actually-" I start
"We have, we'll stay here" Camilo says proudly and I drop my fork with a clank

"We didn't deiced on anything, you made that decision on your own" I say and Alma looks shocked. "You know I want to go home"
"We are home" he says

"No, you're home. My home is my village" I snap and walk away from the table. I start to go to Camilos room when I stop. I turn and walk to town. I sizzle with electricity and I storm into the forest, I have to find a clearing. I wander until I find one and I sink to the ground. I'm surprised I haven't exploded yet. I'm not equal in this marriage. I want to throw my ring away, into a river and watch it sink. I don't know how long I'm there for but I start to walk back, my eyes are puffy. I see Dolores walking towards me and she hugs me tightly. 

"Oh honey" She whispers.

"It just feels so real now, especially with him not wanting to move" I whisper and she strokes my hair

"I know, lets go back. Mamma is starting to worry" she puts her arm around my shoulder and leads me into Casita. The floor boards thump happily and she leads me into her room. I sit on the sofa and a fire starts, her room is so cozy. There's a bed against the wall, her walls are bookcases, there's a small reading area with a table, fireplace and sofas. I hold my hands in my lap.

"I just thought my life would be different, I just feel so trapped right now" She hugs me
"I know it feels like that but Camilo does care about you" I sigh and pull away, I hug my legs.

"He won't even think about moving his mind is already made up" She sighs. "He won't even think about my feelings" I mutters, my fingers tips sizzle but not as aggressively, more sad and tired.

"I don't know what to say" Dolores admits "this is something you two need to talk about him" I nod and walk out.