Two people bound by their unusual past.
One wants to go back.
The other has no idea.
Until their love finds its own way to each other.
(The setting is in Texas, USA)
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My plan about lying in bed body to body with Cheska had taken place with a little begging and a puppy-eyed look. "Please," I even asked. We were standing face to face with the bed in our midst. She's in her pink pajama and I'm in my usual white cotton shirt and stripe pajama bottom.
Tiningnan niya muna ako ng masama. "Yakap lang, ha?"
"Unless you want something else," my wrong answer dahil umismid siya.
"Ayaw ko nga, kaya nililinaw ko!"
"Bakit ayaw mo?" Kunwari ay inamoy ko ang sarili ko. "Mabango naman ako, napagkamalan mo ngang may pabango ako 'di ba?"
Inirapan niya ako. "Huwag mo na ipaalala yan, 'yan ang dahilan kaya tayo nandito."
"Which I am very grateful for."
Tiningnan niya ako na parang naniniguro. "You are grateful that you married me?"
"Why not?"
"May girlfriend ka pa!" singhal niya.
Ikiniling ko ang ulo ko to look at her sideways. "Who said so?"
"Hindi pa kayo break!"
"We have not been talking for at least seven months now. Ano'ng tawag do'n?"
"Paano kung hinihintay ka pa niya?"
"Hindi ako nagpalit ng number. Naka-roaming ang number ko sa Pilipinas and I gave her my new phone number when I arrived in the US. She is also in my messenger noong gumawa ako niyon for you. Not even a seen zone." Which was okay. I am ready to break up with Kayla, though I didn't see it necessary. We were as good as that. But this woman that I married? Kailangan ko ba talagang makiusap para lang tabihan niya ako? I am not even asking for sex, for cripes sake!
Ngumuso siya. "Do you still love her?"
I sighed. "I would probably sound asshole to you, but we never really talk about love."
She gaped at me.
I rolled my eyes.
She pouted again.
Ako naman ang nagtanong. "Mahal mo pa ba 'yong first love mo?"
"Si Devin?" parang nandidiri niyang sabi sa pangalan ng lalaki. "Hindi ah, para lang akong tanga do'n. I loved him for almost ten years. Unuttered and unreciprocated. Unrequited, lahat ng 'yon! Paano ko pa mamahalin iyon sa loob ng limang taon na may asawa na siya?"
Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Mabuti naman. "That's good to know. So what do you think about us?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do we have a chance?" No! "Wait, that's a wrong question. Do I have a chance with you?"
