Destiny

Peonies

Son Yejin POV

It has been almost a month since I wrapped up my drama, but I am still having trouble sleeping at night. For 5 months, my body clock has accustomed to be busy at night. It become nocturnal. So, it's quite hard to get back to the normal routine before I started filming the drama.

The weather is getting warmer and in the south, spring flowers has begin to bloom. Since spring is coming, it brought me to all the sweet memories we shared during spring. From our first cherry blossoms date in 2018, to our secret late night date to see flowers at night, to our beautiful surprising moment that greet us in 2020 and finally to our spring wedding last year. I had four amazing spring memories with him and I am looking forward to have it more. Not limited to spring, but the remaining seasons as well.

Resting in the bed, I scrolled through my Instagram feed and look at all the posts by my friends. It's nice to see some new suggestions on my timeline too. I laughed looking at old photos and videos of me and my husband which our fans tagged me on my social media. I turned to my right side and watched my now sleeping husband. I can't believe we have come this far. 4 years together. Married for almost 2 years and soon will be celebrating our 1st wedding anniversary. I am grateful for what we shared especially after we had Yerin. She bounds my love for her father and makes me want to love him more every day.

Shifting my look on our mini me, who sleeps in the same position as my husband, I couldn't help but just smile seeing how identical they can be. I really love to see Bin's face when I'm pregnant that now, I have two of my favorite person looking the same. The man himself and the little girl version of him. Taking that chubby hands into mine, I kiss it.  Can't believe she's going to turn three by Korean reckoning this November. Where's my little baby go? Seeing how fast she grows, lately I have been thinking to have another baby. Since I am not planning to accept any acting offer for a while, it's probably the best time to add a new family member. I had told him a few months back and he is in the same page with me. I even had stopped my contraceptive and has been trying ever since Since both of us are in our forties, breeding time is not a luxury for us. We have to utilize the golden time we have. This may sound weird, but I suddenly missed being pregnant. I bend down and kiss Yerin's forehead before I give my husband one peck at the same area.

I lie down facing them and wondering what my life would have been if I haven't met Hyun Bin back for our movie Hyeobsang, will I still be single? Continuously working? Making names to Hollywood following some of my sunbae in the industry? There may be many opportunities but, I don't think I would trade what I have now for that. I am happy for meeting him, falling in love with him, making a drama together and most importantly, I am happy building a family with him. Those are more meaningful to me. The unexpected hiatus I took after Sarangui Bulsichak, is the best 18 months break I had. Got pregnant, engaged, getting married, having a baby and being a mom is something that I never imagined. Although I never expected those but if I were to turn back time, I would not change a bit. I want it to be the same.

My sister used to tell me that she enjoyed motherhood so much although it's tiring. I find her too obsessed to her child back then, how can she enjoys getting less sleep and growing eyebags? Her words are now making sense to me. Motherhood is indeed unique. Its tiring, sucking all your energy out but at the end of the day you enjoy the time spend with your child. Being filming for 5 months makes me missed being a mother so much. Yerin grew up a lot while I am away and there are a lot of her milestones that I missed. Because of that, I decided not to take any job for now. I want to spend time with my daughter and grow our family if possible.

I look at the clock and it's already 4 in the morning. I open up the internet to find some ideas. I know my husband is planning something for our first wedding anniversary. I happened to know it by accident as I saw his PA sent a few hotels option on his Kakaotalk while I was borrowing his phone. Since he is faster in making plans for us, I might need to think what to surprise him as well. I haven't finalized the gift I want to get for him.