One Year, and He changed my life (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 17

Cory's POV

On Saturday I visited my grandma's and sister's graves. I was confused and they were my favorite people to talk to. They knew I was gay and accepted me for it. Grandma even told me she was a closet lesbian, but was forced to marry grandpa by their parents. He was even in love with another woman and after they had my mom, they divorced and my grandpa left after. She said it was hard, but she made it by. She's the strongest person I know, that is until cancer beat her a year after Miranda died. I had no one to talk to after that, but even though they can't be here with me physically, I know they are listening and will help me. They always do, so every weekend I come to the cemetery to ramble about what happened during the week and sometimes cry because of how much I miss them.

I told them about Chad and about how I finally went to his house and how I actually had a great time.

"I just don't know what to do you guys. You two know more about boys than me and I am one! I can't figure out my feelings and it's stressing the hell out of me." I sighed, even though nothing happened I still sat there just hoping something would. I wanted grandma to smack me on the back of my head for no reason or Miranda to hug me and never let go, but it didn't.

I sighed again and chuckled, "Grandma, I know if you were here you'd say 'just tell him how you are confused bimbo!' Miranda, you'd probably say 'well hang out with him more and see how your feelings are." I thought about. "Maybe I should just hang out with him more, this confusion could just be because I've never had a friend like that before." I smiled, "Thank you guys. You always know what to say." I chuckled and laid my flowers down for both of their graves and stood up and went home.

When I woke up Monday morning I was nervous to go to school. I was nervous to talk to Chad the most. I need to pick the right time to ask him what happened Friday, but just when? I arrived at school and looked around in search for him. He was walking up to the front doors and I walked faster to catch him before he went inside.

"Hey Chad," I saw him stop walking and stiffen. Did he not want to talk to me? My stomach dropped at the thought. He turned towards me and smiled slightly.

"Hey Cory."

"How was your weekend?" I was nervous and couldn't hide it. Ugh.

He grinned, "All I did was play video games and sleep." He laughed, "What about you?"

We started walking inside towards my locker. Everyone was staring at us, mostly me. Some curious and others gave me disgusted looks. I ignored them since I was used to it anyway. I shrugged as we continued to walk,

"Went to visit my grandma and sister. Read some and drew." He nodded in understanding. Everyone knew a year after Miranda died, Grandma did too. So, they liked to tease me by saying, What? You kill your grandma too? It hurt bad, but they didn't know anything about me, so I didn't care.

We stopped at my locker and I put my books inside. I saw him look around and I looked at him, "Afraid to be seen with me?" I asked and he widened his eyes.

"No! I was just looking around and...um...while you were putting away your books in your locker! I'm not afraid to be seen with you!" He rambled and as much as I tried to hold in my laughter, it bursted out and I couldn't stop. He was too cute.

"I was just joking with you Chad." I managed to say through the laughter.

He grinned, "Oh."

I laughed harder, "Remind me to mess with you more often. It's fun." I said and quieted down, till I was just smiling.

He rolled his eyes, "Oh, whatever."

We walked to my first class and we said bye to each other. I thought if I should ask him now and before I could stop myself, I grabbed his arm as he turned away. Tingles spread along my fingers and I silently gasped and quickly let go when he turned back around towards me. My eyes shifted around, avoiding his piercing ones. It suddenly felt hot in here and my heart thumped wildly against my chest. It's been doing that a lot lately. I glanced at him and he was looking at me questioningly. Here goes nothing.

"Um...on Friday...w-what did you want to say to me?" I mentally cursed at my lack of confidence. I waited for him to reply and when he didn't for a while, I blushed in embarrassment. I shouldn't have asked! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I was about to open my mouth to apologize, but he beat me to it.

"I'm in love with you."

Everything stopped. My heart stopped, I couldn't move of breathe. Did I hear him right? Did he just say what I think he said? I opened my mouth and then closed it. He widened his eyes once he realized what he said and his face turned pale.

"Um..what?" I asked rather harshly. For some reason I was getting angry. Was he messing with me? Was this some kind of joke?

"Uh..." He struggled to find words, but then he sighed and looked calm. "I'm in love with you Cory."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing! This can't be true, no one loved me. Everyone hated me and that's how it's supposed to be.

I shook my head, "No."

He looked at me confused, "What? No?"

"Yes. No. You can't love me." I stepped back when he stepped towards me, a hurt look appeared on his face when he noticed my step back. He stayed still and looked down at me with a pained expression.

"Why not?" He asked. I can't do this. It's too much for me to handle. I shook my head and frowned backing away.

"B-because I don't love you! I'm not a fag!" I ran into my class not daring to look back. I quickly sat in my seat and looked at my desk.

What did I just say?...Why did I say that?...

It's because you don't want happiness.

My thoughts were swarming, but I can't get that shocked and hurt expression on Chad's face out of my eyes. Whenever I blinked that expression was there behind my eye lids.

I messed up big time.

And worst of all.

I was pretty sure I was in love with him too.

Nice going Cory.
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BOOM DONE WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!

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