Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
dear keiji,
i have known you for most of my life.
i have grown accustomed to your habits and likings; it was a given when two families are as close as ours.
one of your confusing features at first – trust me, with a person as perfect and beautiful as you, there weren't many – was your monotonous voice.
i remember how awkward it used to be at dinners and whatever situations our parents used to leave us in. the children's table. the mall ballpit.
im getting off track, aren't i? you just make me feel so disoriented, akaashi.
your voice.
it used to make me feel like you didn't want me there. i hadn't known many people like you – who does at 7 years old? not many children are as, what should I say..
organised? no, that doesn't fit. id like to say cool headed.
but anyways, not many kids were as 'cool headed' as you, I've decided. and that made me feel frustrated and desperate for your approval, which is yet again a detail you didn't need to know.
as time passed, i found that you didn't hate me as much as i thought you did.
(at least i hope you didn't. do you?)
i learnt how to discern the details of your voice. maybe i wasnt very observant as a child, and that's the reason i wasn't able to do that earlier.
your voice is like poetry to me. it makes everything you say sound meaningful.
one of my favourite things to hear from you is my name, did you know? maybe im just imagining it, but you say it with such tenderness and care; it makes me feel as if im someone that matters to you, if that makes sense. i think it does, right?
you like writing, and you write beautifully. as we grew closer, you'd often read your poems to me, and then mutter a complaint regarding how bad your voice sounds; and I'd shush you and ask you to continue.
should I have told you how beautiful your voice actally was? I should have chided you the way i wanted to, and assure you that each syllable sounded like music to me.
it still does. even the short phone calls we have remind me of how enamoured i am with you.
we dont talk much anymore, do we akaashi? it feels as if we fell apart just as i had truly started to understand how amazing you are.
im sorry. is it because of me?
ah. I've ranted too much.
i realise how creepy this is, but you won't be recieving them anyways.
