Fuck You

Chapter 23

somehow i edit my chapters and hella typos still make in in the edited version. please point them out lmao because rereading over 5,000 words repeatedly just not it.

Word count: 5,128
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Rio
"Fuck," I mumbled to myself while walking out the lobby of Emilia's building.

She was crying, she was fucking crying and all I did was make it worse.

I wasn't surprised she wanted more, but I was clear from the start that I didn't date. She didn't know this but it was much more than just sex with her. Every time I'm not around her I think about her and miss her, I love going to sleep with her against my chest and her arm wrapped around my waist. She didn't know it at all, but we're nothing like how Nicole and I were.

I opened my car door and got in.

I didn't feel anything at all for Nicole, I never once wanted to stay over her house or sleep with her. I never pick her up from work and wait to see the surprised smile on her face, I don't fucking follow her to the mall and watch her shop. The only alone time Nicole and I had was during sex, other than that every time we we 'hang out' was when everybody else were.
I've known her for a while but I feel like I've known Emilia for longer.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm fucking attached to her. I think about her way too much, I don't want anybody else with her. I miss her already.

I'm surprised I don't feel stupid for feeling like this. I've known her for seven months but it feels like much longer.

I just couldn't tell Emilia I wanted to be in a relationship because don't, well I wanted to be with her, I didn't want her fucking other people but I couldn't actually put a label to it because all I'll do is just fuck it up.

Seriously, she'll fucking hate me if we end up getting in a relationship. I've never told her I did have a girlfriend, I lied to her actually. I did have a girlfriend. I had one when I was twenty, I guess I could say she was my first girlfriend she was the first girl I had continued to be around after fucking her. She started calling me her boyfriend after like a month and I didn't mind it, she was attractive, I liked having sex with her and she was even fun to be around. We stayed together for three years and for the first time I went over her family's house for thanksgiving and to sum it up, I slept with her sister. That wasn't the first time though, I cheated on her in like the first four months of our relationship, she just doesn't know.

I didn't even care, she was hurt, really hurt and I didn't give a fuck. I still don't. I didn't love her, I know I didn't.

And the crazy thing is, I can't even imagine doing that to Emilia, but I still would probably fuck it up. I want her though, I want her to be mines. I fucked up. I didn't even want to think about how it was going to be sleeping tonight, fucking pathetic.

My reaction is always the same with her; my heart jumps every time I see her or hear her voice. It sounds cliché, but it's true. I get in a much better mood when I see her, when I'm around her.

Once I got back to my house, I let out a sigh as I saw her waiting by the door. "I'm really having a bad day, Nicole. Leave me the fuck alone," I said to her as I walked up to my door.

She frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You just said you were having a bad d-"

"Why are you here?" I opened my door and she easily slipped in.

"I want to ask you something," she said.

"You could've just called or left a note," I said sarcastically. I wouldn't read a fucking note from her.

"Like you would've answered them."