Kessie's Short Stories

[Kingdom Hearts] 11:11

Originally published 3/25/2022

It felt weird, just phasing through her door to get into her room. He knew knocking would do no good in his current state. But still, this was practically an invasion of privacy. She'd have his head if she knew. The guilt felt a lot stronger than the hypothetical, so he entered anyway.

He let out a sigh of relief after seeing her at her desk. There was an even greater relief when he noticed she already put on her loungewear. No awkward, and thoroughly accidental, peep shows today. No sir. She might not have known he was there, but he could still give her respect.

"Whatcha workin' on, Sabi?" he asked, in a normal tone, as he moved closer. He knew she wasn't going to answer. It seemed easier to pretend that she could. Ignoring him was exactly something she'd do when she was annoyed with him anyway- it's happened before.

At first Ventus thought she was doing something at her computer. It wasn't until he got closer that he realized she was working on her calligraphy. Each stroke she took was done with purpose and precision. Her face reflected her concentration with an intense glare at the paper itself. Ventus held back the lump in his throat.

Sabrina was mad. Furious, even.

Sabrina Sidney was a person of subtle reactions. Her smiles were reserved for exactly three people, and only two had heard her laugh. Sometimes her silence was the scariest part about her. Those dark brown eyes of hers held a fire that refused to go out. One glare and you knew you were marked for death. Even if she was just reciting simple phrases with her calligraphy practice, there was a reason for it; she couldn't go too slow or else the ink would blot. If she went too fast, the nuance in each stroke and curve would lose its meaning. So she used the practice as a way to force herself to think clearer; to calm herself down.

She never told him this. Ven had figured out on his own after several months of mistrials. Even as she swept her pen in graceful motions, her grip was too tight. If it had been a crayon, it would have snapped a long time ago.

Seeing her like this hurt him. No one had to tell him why she was upset. It was all because of him- because he broke a promise. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms, apologize profusely, and prayed that she was so relieved to see he was safe, she didn't even fathom slapping him across the face. The best he could do now was stick his whole arm through her torso. He almost wanted to be slapped. It's not like he didn't deserve it.

Normally the idea of not being tangible didn't bother him. He could spend a whole week not thinking about it. But now? Being able to feel her anger with no way to soothe it? It made him feel helpless. Scared. He craved being able to run his hand down her ebony black hair, beach wave curls intertwining his fingers like silk. He never really had the chance before- he had always been the one to fall asleep on her, the prime opportunity to play with the other's hair. Sabrina was always too guarded to trust someone like that. And that was okay, he didn't expect her to. He had always been grateful just to know her most of the time.

"Sabreenie! Sabreenie!" six little voices squeaked at the door. It succeeded in scaring both Ven and Sabrina. The sudden noise had made Sabrina in particular jump- spilling a little bit of ink onto the paper and releasing an annoyed curse from her lips.

"Wait a minute!" she shouted back, almost in a bark. She then grumble-hissed something under her breath as she got up. Ven got out of her way, despite there being little reason for it. When Sabrina opened the door, she was greeted to six small blue bunnies, all stacked on top of each other so the highest one was about at her eye level.

"What?" Sabrina snapped. Ven flinched for the bunnies. As if he needed any other reason to assume she was upset...

"Mama has a present for Sabreenie! A good one!"

Sabrina's jaw clenched. "Fine." she agreed through gritted teeth. "Let's just get this over with."

The bunny children all cheered as Sabrina left her room. It almost drowned out how hard she had slammed her door. Ven once more flinched, then stared at the door with a heavy heart.

He had to say something to her. He couldn't let her keep suffering because he had done the unforgivable. But how? He didn't think he had enough power to pick up the pen and write something before she came back. Ventus looked at the computer, considered the keyboard for a moment, then came to a conclusion.

. . .

Ortensia was a good person. Frequently Sabrina wondered how someone so sweet could get attached to someone like her- a terrible person with a heart of steel covered in thick layers of ice. Not that it mattered. She thrived when people thought she would fail.

Maybe that was why she was annoyed right now. Ortensia didn't believe that Sabrina hated Ventus. Ventus, who had promised to take them on a date then never showed up. Ventus, who never answered her texts or calls after that like he had disappeared off the face of the earth. She didn't need him. She didn't care about him anymore either. She never liked him. Never. Ortensia was just being a mother and didn't know a thing. No one knew what Sabrina was going through. Not a single person. She would suffer through this like she always did. It was the only thing she could rely on.

Sabrina lugged the stuff Ortensia had given her over to her desk. The phrase she had been trying to write ('Never say goodbye. Goodbye means going away, and going away means fo-') quickly buried under a new set of stationary and ink refills. As she sorted through the inks, almost genuinely surprised at the variety, she noticed out of the corner of her eye that her computer monitor had come on. It took a moment longer to realize that there was a message, written on the computer's default word processor. She stopped to read it over and could nearly feel her own heart stop the moment after.

'Still here.'

For the first time, in a long, long time, a tear rolled down Sabrina's face. She staggered back from her desk, nearly tripping on her rug in the process. A sense of reality came back to her when her back pressed against the opposing wall. Even then, everything felt numb; nothing seemed real.

"You-you don't get to do this!" she finally screamed. She didn't care if anyone else in the house, neighborhood, or country could hear her. This was between her and a ghost she couldn't give up. "You hear me?! You! Can't! Do! This!"

As another tear came down, and then another, Sabrina held herself close. Her heart hurt. It hurt so much she was ready to rip it out. Feeling this way was a weakness- a liability. She didn't like him. She never liked him. The feeling was mutual, wasn't it? That's why he didn't show up that day, right? It was just one big lie. One big, stupid, useless...

"I liked you." she then said, quietly, as her voice quivered. It hurt talking now. More so from the scream than anything else. "I actually liked you..."

Her whole body shaking now, Sabrina slid down into a sitting position. She still held herself. She still cried tears that she thoroughly despised. No one was here. No one would ever be there. In the end, she was always alone. It would always be like that. Everyone left at some point. No one liked her that much. Absolutely no one.

For a small moment, it felt like a brush of static crossed her body. She shivered in reflex. Her lips soon had a certain itch to them as if she's been kissed. Sabrina found her body too numb to react to the odd feeling right away. All she wanted to do was cry. The static made its way to her hand. If she could have focused for a moment longer, she would have felt the gaze of a soul just as remorseful as her. If not more.

'I'm sorry.' a small voice, nothing more than a breeze, whispered near her. Another tinge of static near her lips, and after that, her room was filled with a deafening silence.

Alone. She was alone again.

And he was never coming back.