Stuff about Mrs Scamander (Stuffbook V2)

23

I know so many people, which's life is worse, much worse than mine. I should be thankful, that I even can go to school, not everyone does have that privilege. I should be thankful for my friends and I should treat them like they deserve and they deserve someone better than me. I should do my best for my friends and family, but I just think about how I want to be alone. They want to spend time with me, but I say no, because I am too unsocial und want nearly always be alone. My friends and family want the best for me, but I am just the bad person, I am.

I should do my best.
I should treat everyone like they deserve and I shouldn't be treated that good, because I don't deserve it that good.
I should try to help actually and not to treat, the people I am supposed to help, like small children.
I should spend as much time as possible with them, but I just can't. A school day is emotionally exhausting and after a school day, I need to be alone, but my parents love me, so they want me to be with them.
Also, most of my friends know, that I am going to move to Hessen and they want at least some memories with me, but I just search and find excuses over and over again. And once, I was willing to be there, I said to my inner me, I would absolutely go to this fucking picknick, even if I don't want to, even if I'd get ill, even if I would have to answer uncomfortable questions, I wanted to be a good friend.
And then the picknick was just canceled.

And the moral of the story:
You can complain and complain, it won't help. But if you try to change, it also won't work. So you're trapped in this circle forever. Yay! :)