Hate me like you do

A horrible no good very bad plan

Nothing about the next few days was easy for Wren. She made herself be around Bucky immediately the day after her breakdown so that she could begin to learn to live with the pain of being close but not actually getting to have him. If she trained she was at the Tower with everyone else. Meetings? She came in person instead of over video conference. Meal times were more of the same. The only thing she allowed herself any reprieve from his presence was where she slept and even then Bucky was there in her dreams.

And the man himself? Bucky made it damn near impossible to not cry every time she was near him. He'd gone from being a playful dick to being kind and sweet at every turn; if she didn't know better it was as if he was trying to make her fall for him. Didn't matter the scathing comments about his looks, performance in the gym or out in the field or even just complaining about how loudly he breathed near her Bucky had only nice things to say in kind as if he knew what she was doing.

After nearly a week of this it was time to put the horrible no good very bad plan into action. Why? Because Wren needed him to hate her. Hate her so much that just the sight of her would make him run in the other direction so that she could take in one ounce of pain free air. No one ever said that she was smart and to be sure this was a dumb ass plan, but when you're desperate for any kind of peace you'll do anything even if it's you who's ripping out your own heart so you can find it.

:::::::

Listening to Maria drone on and on about an upcoming event that was to honor the Avengers that all of the team was required to attend, Wren's mind was focused on the blonde man to her right and the brunette on his. While it looked like she was paying rapt attention to the woman at the head of the table all she could do was think how as soon as this was over she was going to start step one. Confirm her owed date with Steve that she would make sure that Bucky knew it was going to be tonight and not just a friend date either. This had to look like she really was over him and the game they'd played with each other.

Over the last few days she'd been laying the flirty ground work not just with Steve, but a few other men that she was back in her old form. Ready and willing with whoever caught her eye. The thought of sleeping with anyone else made her sick to her stomach except for when it came to Steve. Probably because he made her feel safe and protected. Wren knew that if she couldn't go through with it he wouldn't push himself past her limits and there wouldn't be any hard feelings. Steve Rogers, like Bucky she was coming to find, was someone she wished she was good enough for but she'd take what she could get.

Taking a calming breath Wren uncapped her pen and reached out for his hand to doodle on. Steve glanced over at her with that cute crooked grin of his and turned a little so he could wrap his arm around her so she could draw her little bubble hearts easier. He'd allowed her to do this whenever she was feeling anxious which wasn't often, but enough times that he had no problems being her doodle pad. Never once commenting on it other than the first time, especially after she told him that she used to do this with Henri as a kind of comfort thing.

Keeping her eyes on Steve's large palm Wren could feel Bucky's intense gaze on her. Ignoring him as best she could to write out in perfect cursive: Be my date-date tonight? Check yes or no with little boxes next to his options.

Chuckling under his breath at the juvenile, but cute invitation Steve took the pen from her to mark yes and wrote, 8? At her nod he linked their fingers together and hummed out a pleased sound that made her unconsciously clench her thighs together and bite her bottom lip which had his ocean blue eyes darkening with lust. There was no denying the sexual awareness she had for their Captain and the answering response from him.

Something about Steve just appealed to her and while she'd never crossed the line with him she had always been curious. She knew he had been as well, but had always respected her decision to keep things purely friendly. If he knew what had transpired between her and his best friend she knew he'd probably back off in that dumb 'my friend called dibs' kind of way men do. Especially if he knew the feelings she had for Buck, but that was why she wasn't going to tell him.